A cigarette is a breathing space. It makes a parenthesis. The

"A cigarette is a breathing space. It makes a parenthesis. The time of a cigarette is a parenthesis, and if it is shared, you are both in that parenthesis. It's like a proscenium arch for a dialogue." These words by John Berger offer a deep reflection on the intimate moments between individuals and the way certain actions, however fleeting, can create a space for connection and dialogue. The cigarette, in this sense, is not merely a habit, but a symbol of pause, a small and shared breathing space within the endless rhythm of the day. In the act of smoking, a parenthesis is created—a temporary separation from the world, where time itself seems to slow and the exchange of thoughts becomes the focus, as if framed by a proscenium arch that emphasizes the significance of the moment.

In the ancient world, philosophers and thinkers often sought out moments of stillness to engage in meaningful dialogue. Socrates, with his practice of dialogue, believed that true wisdom was found not in lectures or monologues but in the exchange between individuals, in the moments when their ideas could meet and interact. Socrates did not see the conversation as a means to an end but as a space to be shared—just as Berger describes the time of a cigarette as a shared parenthesis. It is not the action itself that holds meaning but the connection it creates. The cigarette, like the conversation between two wise individuals, offers a space where time is suspended, allowing for a deeper connection to emerge.

The image of the parenthesis is particularly striking. A parenthesis in writing is a temporary interruption, a space where something additional is added without altering the main flow of the narrative. So too is the moment spent with a cigarette—an interruption in the busy patterns of life, a moment set aside for something personal, something shared. In this brief time, the world outside may continue on, but within that small frame, there exists a sacred space, an intimate bubble where the everyday noise is silenced, and only the present dialogue matters. This space allows for genuine connection, where words are not just spoken, but truly heard and felt.

This idea mirrors the practice of the ancient Greeks, who often gathered in symposia, spaces dedicated to conversation, wine, and the exchange of ideas. In these gatherings, the world outside was momentarily forgotten, and the focus was on the connection between those present. The conversation itself became the ritual, much as the shared act of a cigarette becomes a ritual in Berger’s metaphor. These moments, fleeting though they may be, create shared meaning. The cigarette, then, becomes a symbol of this ritual—a brief, sacred space where two individuals can connect beyond the mundane demands of their lives.

Consider the example of Rainer Maria Rilke, the great poet, who often spoke of the importance of solitude and space in creating profound art and relationships. For Rilke, a shared moment of silence between two people—whether in conversation or in quiet reflection—was an act of profound connection. In his Letters to a Young Poet, he writes of the importance of carving out these moments of stillness, for it is in these spaces that the soul can breathe and the deepest truths can emerge. The cigarette, like the silence that Rilke describes, creates a space for this deep exchange—a shared, uninterrupted moment where two people can truly listen and be present.

But the lesson Berger imparts is not just about the fleeting act of smoking but about the deeper concept of creating spaces for dialogue and connection in our lives. How often do we rush through our days, drowning in the noise of work, obligations, and distractions? How often do we fail to create intentional moments of pause to truly connect with those around us? The cigarette, as a symbol, teaches us that these pauses—though small—are vital. They are the spaces where true human connection is formed. The parentheses in our lives—whether they are moments of quiet, shared experiences, or simply times when we stop to listen—hold the potential for real meaning.

Thus, the practical lesson we must take from Berger’s words is this: we must create intentional spaces in our lives for connection. Whether it be a shared moment over a cup of tea, a walk with a loved one, or a quiet conversation between friends, these spaces allow us to breathe, to be present, and to engage with the world in a way that transcends the mundane. We should not be afraid to take time for these small acts of connection, for it is within these brief moments that the deepest relationships are nurtured, the most honest conversations unfold, and true understanding emerges.

Let us remember that in the grand flow of life, the parentheses we create—those spaces of stillness, reflection, and dialogue—are what truly define us. Just as the ancients understood that wisdom comes from dialogue and shared experience, so too must we recognize that in our busy, noisy world, it is these quiet moments of pause that hold the power to shape our lives, our relationships, and our understanding of one another.