A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is

The words of Eleanor Roosevelt—“A woman is like a tea bag—you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water”—resound with the cadence of both wit and wisdom. At first, they seem playful, comparing the essence of a woman to the steeping of tea. Yet beneath this simplicity lies a profound truth about resilience, courage, and hidden strength. Roosevelt, who herself bore the burdens of loss, criticism, and responsibility, spoke from lived experience: it is not in ease but in trial, not in calm but in conflict, that the true strength of a woman is revealed.

The origin of this insight lies in Roosevelt’s own life. As First Lady during the Great Depression and World War II, she was placed again and again in “hot water.” She was mocked for her activism, criticized for her boldness, and opposed for her advocacy of women, minorities, and the poor. Yet the more resistance she faced, the stronger she became. Like the tea bag steeped in boiling water, her character released its richest essence only under pressure. Thus, the quote is not merely metaphor, but autobiography, a glimpse into how she endured and grew under fire.

History itself gives us countless examples of this truth. Consider Harriet Tubman, born into slavery, who could have been crushed by her suffering. Instead, when placed in the “hot water” of bondage, her courage steeped into strength. She escaped, and not content with her own freedom, she returned again and again to lead others to liberty through the Underground Railroad. Her power, like the essence of tea, only emerged in full when the trials of fire pressed against her life.

Or recall the story of Queen Esther from the ancient scriptures, who risked her life to save her people. In the safety of the palace, her strength remained hidden. But when the time came, when the waters boiled and danger pressed upon her, her courage revealed itself. She stepped forward with the words, “If I perish, I perish.” It was in the furnace of trial that her true power shone. Here again, we see the eternal truth that strength is not always visible in calm, but in crisis.

The meaning of Roosevelt’s words is therefore both inspirational and cautionary: never underestimate a woman—or any human being—simply because she seems quiet, gentle, or untested. For within lies hidden strength that awakens only in adversity. The world often assumes that strength is visible in muscle or in noise, but true resilience is revealed in silence under pressure, in endurance when the world turns hostile, in the will to rise when all seems lost.

The lesson for us is clear: do not fear the “hot water” of life. When trials come, they are not merely punishments but opportunities to draw forth your hidden essence. Just as boiling water transforms a tea bag into something rich and nourishing, so too adversity can bring forth courage, faith, and resilience you did not know you possessed. Instead of shrinking from challenges, embrace them as the proving ground of your spirit.

Practical wisdom calls us to act. When you face hardship, ask not, Why me? but What strength is this trial calling forth from me? Support the women in your life by recognizing their unseen power and giving them space to rise when tested. And in your own struggles, remember that your greatest strength may yet be hidden, waiting for the “heat” of difficulty to call it forth. Do not despair in pressure—it is the very condition that reveals your deepest capacities.

Thus, let Roosevelt’s words endure as both humor and prophecy: a woman is indeed like a tea bag, and so too is every soul. You cannot measure strength in the still waters of ease, but only in the boiling waters of trial. And when the heat comes—as it always does—let it awaken not fear but greatness, for it is there, steeping within, ready to pour forth and give life to all who drink of your courage.