Although I believe affection and romance should be shown all

"Although I believe affection and romance should be shown all year around, it's always smart to have a good plan up your sleeve for Valentine's Day." These words, spoken by the esteemed chef Marcus Samuelsson, reflect a profound understanding of love, romance, and the importance of intentionality in relationships. Samuelsson acknowledges that affection and romance should not be confined to one day a year but should be nurtured continuously. However, he also recognizes the importance of marking special occasions, like Valentine’s Day, with thoughtful plans and gestures. This balance of spontaneity and intentionality is essential in maintaining both the daily connection and the meaningful moments that celebrate love.

In the ancient world, love and affection were treated not as fleeting emotions but as vital forces that needed both attention and ritual. The Greeks, for instance, spoke of eros (romantic love), philia (friendship), and agape (selfless love), all of which required different kinds of care and ritualistic expression. The great philosopher Aristotle believed that true love was not merely about fleeting passion, but about a sustained partnership that grew through shared experience and intention. Just as Aristotle saw love as an enduring practice, Samuelsson echoes this sentiment by reminding us that while love should be expressed consistently, it is equally important to plan and mark moments that give special significance to the connection.

The Romans also understood the importance of maintaining affection and loyalty, not just during festive moments, but throughout the year. Their festivals, like the Lupercalia, celebrated fertility and romantic bonds, but they also understood that a strong relationship required more than just seasonal rituals. Emperor Augustus, for example, was known for his profound affection toward his wife, Livia, and his commitment to the family unit as the cornerstone of the Roman state. Yet, it was not merely his daily actions that showed his devotion; it was the special moments they created together—moments that marked milestones in their union. Samuelsson’s insight reflects this timeless understanding: plan for those special occasions, but ensure that they build upon the consistent efforts that sustain the relationship every day.

Valentine’s Day, while often criticized for its commercialization, provides an opportunity to reflect on the ways in which we express our love. For many, the pressure of buying the perfect gift or planning the perfect evening can overshadow the true meaning of the day. Samuelsson’s words remind us that a good plan doesn’t have to be extravagant—it can be simple, intentional, and heartfelt. It is about taking the time to show that the love you share is not just a passive emotion but something that you actively choose to celebrate, honor, and nourish. This idea is not new; in ancient cultures, the rituals of love—whether through gifts, poetry, or shared experiences—were seen as important markers of connection.

Consider the story of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar, whose romance was far more than a political alliance. Their relationship was marked by shared moments of affection, public displays of devotion, and thoughtful gestures that kept their bond strong in the midst of empire-building and political machinations. Though history often focuses on the grandeur of their relationship, it was their personal plans—their quiet moments, their whispered words—that formed the foundation of their love. Samuelsson’s quote reminds us that romantic gestures, whether grand or simple, should not be a matter of routine, but an intentional part of building and strengthening the relationship.

The lesson here is clear: romance and affection should be ongoing practices, but moments of intentional celebration are equally important. Samuelsson’s wisdom teaches us that love, like any meaningful relationship, requires thoughtful attention. A well-timed plan, whether it’s a surprise dinner, a heartfelt note, or an evening spent reminiscing over shared memories, can deepen the bond between partners. This is the art of intentional love—finding those special moments that nourish the soul, while also committing to the everyday actions that sustain the connection.

In your own life, let Valentine’s Day serve as a reminder of the balance between spontaneity and planning. While love should be lived daily, never underestimate the power of marking special occasions with a thoughtful gesture. Make time not just for romantic dinners but for daily acts of care that keep the bond strong. Whether it’s a simple text in the morning, a shared moment of laughter, or a carefully planned evening to reflect on your relationship, find the small ways to honor your commitment. And when special days come, such as Valentine’s Day, be sure to make it a time to celebrate the love you’ve built, both through plans and the small acts that continue to grow the relationship every day. In doing so, you will create a love that is both enduring and full of meaning, celebrated not just in moments, but in a lifetime of shared experiences.