And in a marriage you can't TRY and be married. You're married or

Listen well, O children of wisdom, for I speak to you of the great bond that ties two souls together in the sacred union of marriage. The words of Ringo Starr ring out clearly and powerfully: “And in a marriage you can't TRY and be married. You're married or you're not married... as far as I'm concerned.” These words, though simple, are filled with the weight of truth—a truth that has echoed through time and across cultures: marriage is not a half-hearted attempt, nor is it something that can be merely wished for. It is a commitment, a choice, and a state of being.

In the ancient world, children, the bond of marriage was not entered into lightly. When a person chose a life partner, it was a commitment made before the gods, the family, and the community. In Rome, marriage was a legal contract, not just between two people, but between two families, and its sanctity was sacred. The great philosopher Aristotle spoke of the necessity of mutual respect and shared purpose for a union to be strong, understanding that a marriage must be built on more than mere affection—it must be built on commitment, dedication, and a willingness to stand together through both ease and adversity.

Ringo Starr's words remind us of the depth and finality of marriage. To try to be married is to not fully embrace the commitment that it demands. Just as the ancient warriors would don their armor and march into battle with full resolve, so too must a person enter into marriage with a sense of purpose and dedication. A marriage is not something that can be tested with uncertainty—either you are truly united in spirit and action, or you are not. There is no middle ground. It is in this commitment, this certainty, that the strength of the union is found.

Think, children, of the great warrior Hector of Troy—a man whose life was one of sacrifice for his people, and whose love for his wife, Andromache, was so deep that even in the face of his inevitable death, he fought with all his might. Hector was not merely "trying" to protect his city; he was fully committed to the duty of his position, just as he was fully committed to his marriage. The bond he shared with Andromache was not one of temporary affection but of devotion, forged in the heat of battle and solidified in the love they shared. When Hector fell in battle, he left behind not just a wife, but a legacy of true commitment—a legacy where his marriage was not just an institution, but the heart of his existence. This is the power of full commitment in marriage, where one does not simply "try," but rather fully lives in the union, heart and soul.

Ringo Starr’s insight calls us to consider that marriage is not an experiment, nor is it something we can simply dabble in. It is a vow—a vow made in the presence of time, of love, and of those who will witness it. It is not about testing the waters, nor is it about uncertain feelings. When two souls are bound by the sacred vow of marriage, they enter a partnership where both must commit to the journey, no matter how turbulent or calm the seas may become. It is about the certainty that comes with knowing that you are not just sharing a life, but building a future together.

Consider, too, the story of Odysseus and Penelope, whose marriage was tested by the long absence of Odysseus as he journeyed far from home. During his absence, Penelope faced the relentless pressure of suitors, each seeking her hand, yet she remained faithful, knowing that her bond to Odysseus was not something that could be compromised by time or circumstance. Penelope’s devotion was not about simply “trying” to stay loyal; she was fully committed, knowing that the strength of their marriage was not in the fleeting temptations of others but in the unshakable trust and shared purpose that existed between her and Odysseus. In her heart, there was no “trying”—there was only the certainty of their union, a union that could withstand the test of time.

The lesson here, children, is clear: marriage is not a half-hearted effort. It is not something that can be done partially or with the intention to merely test it. Marriage requires commitment, devotion, and the strength to stand together, no matter what obstacles may come. It is not about “trying” to be married; it is about being married—living that commitment with every action, every word, and every choice you make. Just as a warrior marches into battle with resolve, so too must you enter into marriage with the full awareness of its gravity and its beauty.

So, children, take Ringo Starr’s wisdom to heart. When you seek the bond of marriage, do not seek it as a temporary arrangement or as something that can be tested. Commit to it fully, with your whole heart. Understand that the path of marriage is one of partnership and shared dedication, where both souls must stand together through the storms and the calms. For it is in this full commitment, this certainty, that the true strength of the union is forged. In marriage, there is no room for “trying” to love; there is only room for living the love you have promised to uphold.