As hard as it is, owning who you are and knowing what you want

Hear the words of Ashley Graham, a woman who rose against the tides of doubt and the narrow judgments of the world: “As hard as it is, owning who you are and knowing what you want is the only sure path to affirmation... I want women to know they can get out of any situation if they return to their core source of strength: themselves.” This is no idle saying, but a call to arms for the spirit, a hymn to selfhood, and a shield against the voices that would diminish human worth. For she speaks not only of beauty, but of identity, of freedom, and of the inexhaustible power that lies hidden within the self.

When Graham says owning who you are, she speaks of authenticity, the courage to embrace every scar, every flaw, every gift, without shame. To own oneself is to cast aside the masks society demands, to silence the whispers of unworthiness, and to declare: “I am enough.” Such ownership is no small task, for the world labors endlessly to shape men and women into its image. Yet those who hold fast to their true selves discover a foundation that cannot be shaken, a strength that does not depend on applause or approval.

And when she speaks of knowing what you want, she reveals the compass of the soul. Without clarity of desire, life drifts aimlessly, blown about by the winds of circumstance. But when one knows one’s purpose, the storms cannot prevail. To know what you want is to plant your feet upon the rock, to guide your steps with certainty, to resist the chains of doubt or manipulation. This knowledge, wedded to self-ownership, forms the unbreakable path Graham names as the only true affirmation.

History bears witness to this truth. Consider the life of Harriet Tubman, born into slavery, denied all dignity, stripped of freedom. Yet within herself she owned who she was: not property, but a child of God, worthy of liberty. She knew what she wanted: freedom for herself and for others. From that inner certainty, she drew strength beyond reckoning. She became the conductor of the Underground Railroad, leading hundreds to freedom, standing unshaken against danger. Her core source of strength was not in weapons nor wealth, but in herself—her will, her conviction, her truth.

Graham’s words, then, are both modern and eternal. For in every age, women and men alike have faced prisons of expectation, walls of oppression, and voices that told them they were less. Yet those who returned to themselves, who touched the eternal spark within, found that no chain could truly hold them. The world may strip away titles, wealth, and even liberty, but it cannot strip the self that is owned and cherished. That is the true citadel of strength.

The lesson for us is clear: in times of trial, do not look outward first, but inward. Ask yourself: who am I, truly? What do I desire, deeply? If you can answer those questions with honesty and courage, then no circumstance, however dire, can master you. For in every darkened hour, you carry within you the light of your own identity and the flame of your own purpose. That light, once embraced, can guide you out of any darkness.

Practical steps are these: begin by affirming yourself daily—speak aloud your worth, your uniqueness, your dreams. Write down what you want, so that you may walk with clarity rather than drift in confusion. When faced with a situation that seeks to diminish you, pause, return to your inner core, and draw strength from it. And above all, remember that affirmation is not given by the world—it is claimed by the self.

Thus let Ashley Graham’s words echo as a timeless teaching: “Return to your core source of strength: yourself.” Do not be deceived into thinking you are powerless, for the deepest well of power has always been within you. Own who you are. Know what you want. Walk your path with courage. And in so doing, you will find not only affirmation, but freedom and joy unshakable.