At my aunt's funeral, I promised myself that I wouldn't be bound

The poet and songstress Jill Scott, whose voice carries both the ache of experience and the fire of rebirth, once spoke these luminous words: “At my aunt's funeral, I promised myself that I wouldn't be bound by the belief that I'm supposed to stay in anything—whether it's a relationship, a job, a house, or a circumstance—if it makes me miserable. She gave me the courage to find my own happiness.” These words are not simply the reflection of one woman’s grief—they are the cry of a soul awakening to its freedom. They speak of loss, liberation, and the sacred duty of each person to guard their inner peace. In them is contained an ancient truth: that suffering may visit us, but we are not meant to build our homes in its shadow.

The origin of this revelation lies in a moment of mourning, that most human of awakenings. It was at her aunt’s funeral, in the stillness of farewell, that Jill Scott saw life laid bare—the brevity of time, the fragility of joy, and the folly of remaining bound to what diminishes the spirit. Death, the great revealer, often strips away illusion and vanity, forcing the living to reckon with their own choices. In her sorrow, Scott made a sacred vow: that she would no longer surrender her soul to the prisons of expectation or fear. She would no longer accept misery as her portion in the name of duty, stability, or what the world calls “success.” Thus, from death was born a new life—the courage to seek happiness, not as luxury, but as necessity.

In her words, Scott echoes the wisdom of the ancients who taught that to live authentically is to honor the divine spark within. The Stoics of old—Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius—reminded us that freedom is not given by circumstance, but chosen by the heart. To remain in what makes us miserable out of fear of change is to betray the soul’s higher calling. The Buddha, too, taught that attachment to what brings pain binds us to the wheel of suffering. To let go is not cowardice—it is the most profound act of courage. Jill Scott, through her grief, discovered the same eternal principle: that the spirit cannot flourish where it is shackled by misery.

History, too, bears witness to those who, like her, dared to free themselves from false bonds. Consider Harriet Tubman, who fled the fields of bondage to taste the air of freedom. She could have remained, as many did, out of fear—fear of punishment, fear of the unknown. Yet she listened to the quiet voice within that said, “You were not born for chains.” Her journey through darkness was not just for herself, but for others who had forgotten their strength. Like Scott’s aunt, who in death imparted courage, Tubman’s life became a beacon, showing that the path to happiness often begins with the choice to walk away from what enslaves.

Scott’s statement is also a mirror to modern hearts, for how many today live as she once did—bound by invisible chains? We remain in relationships that wound us, in jobs that drain us, in circumstances that suffocate the spirit. We tell ourselves that endurance is virtue, that comfort in misery is safety. Yet this is not endurance, but fear disguised as loyalty. The truth, as Jill Scott discovered, is that happiness is not found by clinging, but by releasing. The river flows not because it resists, but because it moves. Likewise, the human spirit thrives only when it is free to change, to grow, to seek the sunlight of fulfillment.

But make no mistake: to leave behind what makes you miserable demands courage. It is easier to remain in the known, even if it brings pain, than to face the uncertainty of new beginnings. That is why Scott’s aunt’s passing became her teacher—for death itself shows us that life is too brief for hesitation. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to act while afraid. It is the moment one says, “I deserve to be whole,” and takes a step, however trembling, toward joy. To walk away from the familiar in search of peace is to honor the divine within you.

So, my child, take this lesson into your heart: do not chain yourself to misery in the name of obligation or fear. Whether it be a relationship, a job, a home, or a belief—if it dims your light, release it. Choose instead the path of courage, even if it leads into uncertainty. For the unknown holds the promise of renewal, while the known, if it brings only sorrow, holds nothing but decay. Happiness is not found by waiting for life to change—it is found by changing your life.

Thus, the wisdom of Jill Scott stands as a beacon for all who live in quiet despair. From her aunt’s passing came the eternal truth that love—even love expressed in farewell—can awaken us to our own power. Let her words remind you that you were not born to endure misery, but to grow, to create, to love, and to be free. And when fear whispers to you that you must stay where you suffer, answer it with courage—the same courage that led a young woman, standing at a grave, to promise herself a new beginning. For in that moment, she reclaimed her life—and through her words, she teaches us to reclaim ours.