Back then I didn't think a woman like that, or a relationship

Sylvia Kristel, a woman whose life was lived in the fierce light of passion and fame, once spoke these revealing words: “Back then I didn’t think a woman like that, or a relationship like that, could exist with complete freedom and no jealousy or possessiveness. I thought it sounded too good to be true and I was certainly convinced it wasn’t the life for me!” In her reflection lies the eternal struggle of love: the longing for freedom and the shadow of jealousy, the hope of harmony without chains, and the doubt that such a bond can ever be real. For is it not the fate of many to desire love that uplifts, while fearing that love must always bind?

Her words show the skepticism born of experience. To imagine a relationship without possessiveness feels, for many, like imagining fire without heat or water without depth. For jealousy has haunted lovers since the dawn of time. From the myths of Hera’s wrath to the tragedies of Shakespeare’s Othello, passion and envy have often walked hand in hand. Kristel’s confession reveals a universal truth: that we are taught to believe love must come with chains, that devotion is proven through possession, and that freedom within intimacy is but an illusion.

Yet there are glimmers in history where this belief has been challenged. Consider the philosopher Abelard and his beloved Heloise. Though their romance was marked by suffering, her letters shine with a vision of love rooted not in possession but in spirit, in shared thought and shared devotion. She sought a bond where love could live without jealousy’s poison, where souls might unite without cages. Their tragedy shows how radical and fragile such love has always been in the eyes of the world, and yet how deeply it stirs the human heart.

Kristel’s doubt—that such freedom could not be for her—speaks also to the burden of cultural expectation. In many ages and societies, women were told that love must mean submission, that to be cherished was also to be controlled. To dream of complete freedom in a relationship was to dream against the tide of tradition. Yet her words also hint at a revelation: that though she once rejected it, the idea planted a seed. Even disbelief points to a longing hidden beneath the surface, a desire for a love purified of envy, where both souls could walk as equals, neither chained nor diminished.

The meaning of her reflection is therefore twofold: first, that many dismiss such love because they have never seen it; and second, that disbelief often hides an unspoken yearning. To say, “It is too good to be true,” is often the heart’s way of admitting, “I wish it were possible.” In this way, Kristel’s words are not only a confession of doubt, but a testimony of the eternal human hunger for a bond uncorrupted by fear, rivalry, or domination.

The lesson for us is clear. If we would build relationships free of jealousy, we must unlearn the lie that possession is proof of love. True love seeks not to own, but to honor. It flourishes not in cages, but in trust. It is possible, though rare, to create such bonds—but only when both hearts commit to honesty, respect, and the courage to let the other remain free. This is not weakness; it is the highest form of strength.

Practical actions can lead us toward this freedom. When jealousy rises, pause and ask what fear lies beneath it. Speak openly with your beloved, not with accusation, but with vulnerability. Build a foundation of trust that can withstand the storms of doubt. And most of all, remember that no soul belongs to another; love is strongest when it is given freely, not demanded. In this way, Kristel’s once-unbelievable dream can become a reality: a love that uplifts without binding, a bond that thrives without jealousy.

So let this teaching be passed down: the highest form of love is not possession but freedom, not jealousy but trust. Though many, like Kristel, may doubt its existence, it is within our power to create it. For love, when freed from envy, becomes not only possible but eternal—a union of two souls walking side by side, each radiant in their own light, yet joined in a harmony that no chain could ever secure.