Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not 'yours,' not personal.

The sky had deepened into a soft, velvety blue, the stars just beginning to emerge. The cool evening air drifted through the open window of the small apartment where Jack and Jeeny sat. The world outside was quiet, but inside, there was a palpable stillness, the kind that only comes after a heavy conversation. Jack leaned against the armrest of the couch, his gaze focused on the flickering candlelight, while Jeeny sat cross-legged on the floor, her hands resting in her lap, her posture calm but filled with a quiet urgency.

Host: The atmosphere between them was both tense and peaceful, a delicate balance. They had spent the evening talking about everything and nothing, the unspoken truth of their conversation hanging in the air like smoke. The soft glow of the candle seemed to illuminate the discomfort and clarity both of them felt, like an invitation to confront something deeper.

Jeeny: “I’ve been thinking about what Eckhart Tolle said: ‘Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you.’ Do you think that’s true, Jack? That these feelings aren’t really ‘ours,’ just passing through us?”

Jack: He shifted, the words striking a chord, but he wasn’t sure what to do with them. “It’s a nice idea, but it’s hard to see anger or fear that way, don’t you think? When you feel those things, it feels like they are you. It’s hard to separate yourself from them, especially when they take over. You can’t just pretend they’re not real.”

Jeeny: Her gaze was steady, not challenging, but soft in a way that invited him to dig deeper. “I’m not saying they’re not real. I’m saying that they’re not permanent. They come and go, just like everything else. And if we identify too closely with them, we get stuck. Fear becomes our reality, anger becomes our identity. But they don’t define us. They’re just part of the human experience. They don’t belong to us — we can choose not to let them rule us.”

Jack: He exhaled, running a hand through his hair, clearly grappling with the idea. “But it feels like they do rule me sometimes, Jeeny. I can’t just turn off anger or sadness when they hit me. They feel so personal, so deeply a part of who I am in the moment. When I’m upset, I am upset. When I’m angry, I am anger. It’s hard to see it as something temporary, something that doesn’t define me.”

Jeeny: She nodded, her voice calm but full of insight. “I get it. I’ve felt the same way. But what if we didn’t see those feelings as ours? What if we saw them as just passing states of the mind, like clouds drifting through the sky? They come, and they go. But underneath it all, there’s something that doesn’t change. Peace, awareness — that’s who you really are, not the anger or the fear.”

Jack: His brows furrowed, still unconvinced. “But it’s not that simple. Fear feels so real, so heavy. It’s not just a thought; it’s a physical reaction. It feels like I’m trapped in it. I can’t just step outside of it and look at it like it’s nothing.”

Jeeny: “You’re right. It’s not simple. And it’s not about ignoring or suppressing those feelings. It’s about recognizing that you are not those feelings. The feelings come and go, but you’re still there, watching them. That space between the emotion and your awareness of it — that’s where freedom lies. You don’t have to become the emotion. You can observe it. And in that moment of observation, you separate yourself from it.”

Jack: He was quiet for a long time, the words lingering in the air between them like a soft echo. He wasn’t sure if he understood completely, but something in the way she spoke felt familiar, like a truth he’d known but forgotten. “So, what you’re saying is… I’m not supposed to let fear or anger define me, even when they feel so real? I can just watch them come and go?”

Jeeny: Her smile was gentle, almost sorrowful, as if she understood the struggle he was facing. “Exactly. Feel what you feel, but know that those feelings aren’t permanent. They’re not yours in the way we think. They don’t belong to you. You can experience them, but you don’t have to carry them with you. Peace comes when we let go of the idea that our emotions are who we are. They’re just part of the flow of life. You can be aware of them without being consumed by them.”

Host: The room seemed to quiet further, the weight of their words sinking in like a soft tide. Jack was still, his face a mixture of contemplation and hesitation. The idea that anger, fear, and even sadness weren’t his to hold onto felt almost like a release, but also terrifying. How could he live without those emotions defining him? How could he let go of something so deeply ingrained?

Jack: “I’m not sure I can just let go of all of it. But… maybe it’s worth trying. To see my emotions as just part of the mind’s condition, not as who I am. Maybe that’s the first step, right?”

Jeeny: “It’s the start, Jack. The first step is always seeing that you’re more than your thoughts, more than your emotions. And with that awareness comes freedom. The anger, the fear — they don’t own you. You can choose how to respond to them. You don’t have to be a prisoner to what you feel.”

Host: As the night deepened, the world outside grew quieter, but within the small room, the words of Eckhart Tolle hung in the air. The realization that emotions were fleeting, not personal, was both liberating and humbling. Jack sat still, letting the truth of the moment wash over him. He didn’t know if he was ready to completely accept it, but for the first time in a long while, he felt the possibility of change.

The candlelight flickered, casting long shadows on the walls, as if the world itself was waiting for him to take that first step.

And somewhere deep inside, Jack knew that maybe, just maybe, he could.