Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his

Carl Jung, the sage of the hidden self, declared: “Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.” This saying pierces like an arrow to the heart of truth, for it reveals that the young do not learn chiefly through the words spoken to them, but through the very being of those who raise them. The child, with eyes wide as dawn, reads not lectures, but lives. The example of the parent, the teacher, the elder—this is the true scripture written upon the heart of the child.

The origin of these words lies in Jung’s lifelong study of the psyche, where he uncovered the deep forces that shape human destiny. He knew that the unconscious carries more power than the spoken word, and that children absorb from their elders the unseen currents of character. A man may say, “Be honest,” yet if his deeds are crooked, his child learns dishonesty. A woman may preach kindness, but if her life drips with bitterness, her child learns resentment. Thus, talk is but the echo; the life lived is the thunder that shapes the soul.

Throughout history, we see this truth embodied. Consider the life of Mahatma Gandhi, who lived with such integrity of spirit that his followers learned nonviolence not from his speeches alone, but from his daily conduct. His children, his disciples, his nation—all were shaped by the sight of a man who refused to raise his hand in anger, even when struck. Contrast this with those leaders whose words rang of justice, but whose private lives were stained with cruelty. Their followers soon fell into corruption, for the tongue is weak when the life contradicts it.

The child is the most sensitive of all disciples. Like clay, soft and impressionable, it does not mold itself by sermons, but by the gentle or harsh touch of example. A father who lies teaches lying even if he preaches truth. A mother who scorns teaches contempt even if she recites kindness. Yet the parent who lives with quiet integrity, who treats others with dignity, who bears hardship with grace—this parent raises children who embody the same. What the child sees, it becomes.

This wisdom is not confined to the family. In every sphere—schools, temples, councils—the young are watching. Soldiers look to generals not for speeches, but for courage in the hour of battle. Students look to teachers not for rules, but for the radiance of a life devoted to learning. Even nations are like children, molded by the character of their leaders. When Rome followed Marcus Aurelius, they glimpsed the majesty of stoic virtue; when later emperors lived in decadence, the empire itself slid into decay.

Thus, the lesson shines clear: live what you would teach. Speak less, embody more. Let your life be a living scripture, your deeds a daily sermon. Do not say to the young, “Be strong,” but show them resilience when trials arise. Do not say, “Be just,” but practice fairness even when it costs you. Do not say, “Be kind,” but extend kindness to the forgotten. In this way, you educate not only through the ear, but through the soul, and the lessons will endure long after words are forgotten.

Therefore, O listener, take this command to heart: let your being be your teaching. Know that every glance, every action, every silence is shaping the next generation. If you wish to raise a noble people, first become noble yourself. If you desire a world of truth, live truth even when it is costly. Remember Jung’s wisdom—children are educated not by talk, but by what the grown-up is. So let your very being shine as the eternal lamp, and those who follow will walk safely in its light.