Choose your friends wisely, and also choose friends that you can

Hear, O seekers of companionship, the words of Elyn Saks, a scholar of law and a warrior of the mind, who declared with steady wisdom: “Choose your friends wisely, and also choose friends that you can trust.” This teaching, simple on its surface, carries the weight of centuries, for it touches the very core of human survival and flourishing. Friendships are not ornaments to life; they are the lifeblood of strength, comfort, and courage. To walk with the wrong companions is to invite ruin; to walk with the right ones is to be carried when your own steps falter.

What is it to choose wisely? It is to see beyond smiles and words, to look instead into the character that lies beneath. A wise friend is not always the loudest, nor the most flattering, but the one whose heart is steady, whose counsel is sound, whose presence does not abandon you when shadows fall. And what is it to trust? It is to open the tender places of your soul without fear of betrayal, to lean upon another without doubt that they will hold you upright. Such trust is rare, for it must be proven in storms, and only those tested by time may be counted among the true.

Consider the story of Cicero, the Roman orator, who in his writings on friendship declared that nothing in life is more noble or enduring than a true friend. Yet he also warned that false friends, driven by greed or ambition, were more dangerous than open enemies. In his own life, Cicero was betrayed by political allies who claimed to stand with him, only to abandon him when his fortunes waned. His fate reminds us that wisdom in choosing friends is not a luxury, but a safeguard, for trust placed in the unworthy can lead to destruction.

But history also offers shining examples of friendships that proved the salvation of nations. Recall David and Jonathan from the ancient scriptures—Jonathan, though son of a king, risked all to protect David, his friend. Their bond was sealed not by convenience, but by loyalty stronger than fear, by trust deeper than politics. Because Jonathan chose David wisely, and David trusted Jonathan fully, their friendship stands across the ages as the archetype of what it means to find and hold true companions.

O children of tomorrow, understand this: your friends shape your destiny. Walk with the wise, and you will grow in wisdom; walk with the deceitful, and you will stumble into ruin. Trust is not to be given lightly, for it is the coin of the soul, and once spent on the unworthy, it is not easily reclaimed. Yet do not close your heart in fear—seek diligently, test patiently, and when you find the trustworthy, hold them close as treasures more precious than gold.

The lesson is radiant: in choosing friends, do not be swayed by charm, by wealth, or by power. Look instead for character, for loyalty, for the quiet strength of one who will not abandon you. A true friend will share not only your laughter but your tears; not only your triumphs but your burdens. And in such trust, you will find peace, for you will know that no matter the storms of life, you do not walk alone.

Practical action lies here: guard your circle. Seek those who uplift, not those who drag you down. Test friendships not in the sunlit days, but in the dark nights, when need and trial reveal the truth of the soul. And likewise, be the friend you seek—be wise, be loyal, be trustworthy. For as you sow, so shall you reap; as you give, so shall you receive.

So let the words of Elyn Saks echo in your heart: “Choose your friends wisely, and also choose friends that you can trust.” This is no idle counsel but the key to a life of strength and serenity. Walk with the faithful, and you will endure; walk with the treacherous, and you will fall. Choose well, and the road of life, though long and uncertain, will be brightened by the steady light of companionship.