Christian, learn from Christ how you ought to love Christ. Learn

Saint Bernard’s words, “Christian, learn from Christ how you ought to love Christ. Learn a love that is tender, wise, strong; love with tenderness, not passion, wisdom, not foolishness, and strength, lest you become weary and turn away from the love of the Lord,” rise like a psalm from the cloisters of the twelfth century. They are at once instruction and warning, urging the believer to cultivate not a shallow or fleeting affection, but a deep and enduring love that mirrors the example of the Savior Himself. Bernard, the Abbot of Clairvaux, spoke not of sentiment but of a holy discipline, a love formed by humility, by wisdom, and by enduring strength.

The origin of this teaching lies in Bernard’s monastic tradition. He lived in a world of turmoil—of wars, Crusades, and political upheaval—yet he retreated into the life of the monastery, seeking God above all. In his writings, especially in his sermons on the Song of Songs, Bernard explored the mystery of divine love. He saw that the true Christian must not love Christ as the world loves, with fleeting desire or empty passion, but with a tenderness rooted in mercy, a wisdom that discerns truth from deception, and a strength that perseveres in trials.

History offers shining examples of this love in action. Consider Francis of Assisi, who, centuries after Bernard, embraced poverty and service as a form of devotion. His love for Christ was tender in his care for lepers, wise in his renunciation of wealth, and strong in his endurance of ridicule and hardship. His devotion was not consumed in a moment’s fire but endured as a steady flame, showing the kind of love Bernard described—one that does not grow weary and turn away.

The warning within Bernard’s words is also clear: passion without wisdom can burn out, tenderness without strength can falter, and zeal without discernment can lead to folly. How many have begun the path of faith with fiery enthusiasm, only to abandon it when trials came? Bernard counsels a balanced love: tender but steadfast, wise but not cold, strong yet gentle. Such a love endures because it reflects the perfect love of Christ Himself.

This teaching also reveals a profound truth about the human heart: to love Christ rightly, one must first learn from Christ how to love at all. The believer does not generate this love from within, but receives it as a gift and a model. Christ’s own love was tender in His compassion for the weak, wise in His discernment against hypocrisy, and strong in His willingness to endure the cross. To imitate such love is to walk the narrow path of discipleship with balance and purpose.

For the seeker today, the lesson is practical as well as spiritual. When you love God or others, examine your heart: is your love only passion, burning bright but fading fast? Or is it balanced with tenderness, wisdom, and strength? Love those around you not only with feeling, but with patience, discernment, and perseverance. Let your love be a shelter in hardship, a guide in confusion, and a power that does not falter when storms arise.

Thus, Saint Bernard’s words endure as timeless counsel: cultivate a love that is both gentle and enduring, thoughtful and resilient. Do not chase fleeting passions that exhaust the soul, but ground your heart in Christ’s own example. For when you love with tenderness, with wisdom, and with strength, your love will not falter, but will shine as a reflection of the eternal love of the Lord.