Dating apps are brilliant for expanding your actual social

Hear now the wise and discerning words of Joanna Coles, who said: “Dating apps are brilliant for expanding your actual social network, which leads you to meet other people.” Though spoken in the language of the modern age, these words carry a wisdom as old as human gathering itself. For in every era, people have sought new means to connect—first by voice, then by letter, and now through screens that shine like stars in the palms of our hands. What Coles declares is not merely praise for technology, but recognition of its potential to serve human connection, when used with awareness and heart.

The origin of this saying arises from Coles’s life as a journalist, editor, and chronicler of modern relationships. In her time, she watched as love, friendship, and destiny shifted from the marketplaces of the physical world to the vast digital realm. She saw that while some feared these new methods, others used them not only to seek romance but to expand their circles, to meet those who might otherwise remain strangers. For her, the brilliance of such tools lies not in their novelty, but in their power to break boundaries—to connect lives that geography, class, or circumstance might once have kept apart.

And yet, this wisdom is not new. The ancients, too, sought to expand their networks of friendship and influence through the technologies of their time. In the courts of kings and the academies of philosophers, the art of correspondence was the lifeblood of connection. Consider the letters of Cicero, who, through ink and parchment, built relationships across the Roman world—alliances of mind and heart that transcended distance. His words, written by candlelight, were not so different from the messages sent across the glowing screens of today. Each was an act of reaching, a bridge between one soul and another. Coles, then, speaks to this eternal truth: that human progress is not defined by tools alone, but by how we use them to connect with purpose.

When Coles calls dating apps brilliant, she does not celebrate them for superficial distraction, but for their potential to reawaken the social instinct that lies within all people. For even in this digital age, connection remains the essence of life. These apps, at their best, are not merely arenas for fleeting encounters, but gateways to possibility—ways for the isolated to find companionship, for the shy to speak, for the curious to explore. They are the modern equivalents of the ancient agora, the bustling public square where strangers met, exchanged ideas, and sometimes, love. In this sense, technology does not change our nature—it only amplifies our longing for community.

Yet, like all tools of power, these platforms must be used with discernment. The ancients warned of hubris, the danger of losing oneself in excess. What was true of the sword and the scroll is true of the smartphone. The brilliance of dating apps lies not in the infinite options they promise, but in the genuine relationships they may help forge. When used without intention, they become a maze of illusion—faces without depth, connections without commitment. But when guided by clarity and kindness, they can become instruments of destiny, where chance encounters blossom into lasting bonds.

Consider the story of Ruth and Boaz from the ancient scriptures—a tale not of technology, but of encounter. Ruth, a stranger in a foreign land, met Boaz by circumstance in a field of harvest. What began as coincidence became compassion, and compassion became love. Their meeting changed not only their lives but the course of history. In our age, the fields have become digital, yet the principle remains: every meeting—whether in person or through an app—holds the potential to alter the course of a life. The medium may evolve, but the mystery of connection remains eternal.

Thus, the lesson in Joanna Coles’s words is one of balance and intention. Seek not technology as an escape, but as an extension of your humanity. Use the brilliance of dating apps not to chase validation, but to cultivate genuine encounters. Approach each message as Cicero approached his letters—with thought, respect, and curiosity. Let your goal not be endless scrolling, but meaningful meeting.

So, children of the digital age, remember this: tools do not define us—our hearts do. Whether through voice, letter, or screen, connection remains the most sacred act of all. As Joanna Coles teaches, the marvel of the modern world lies not in the app itself, but in the human spirit that uses it to reach across the silence and say, “I see you.” Let that be your practice: to use every new form of communication not for distraction, but for expansion of compassion, understanding, and love. For in every age, the greatest technology of all has been the courage to connect.