Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.

In the words of Mike Murdock, teacher of wisdom and the ways of life, we are reminded of a truth both gentle and severe: “Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.” This is no idle thought, but a revelation of the deep influence others have upon our souls. For every bond we form, whether of friendship, family, or love, is not neutral—it shapes us, feeds us, and either builds or diminishes the hidden powers within.

At the heart of this saying lies the mystery of influence. No person lives untouched by those around them. A companion can ignite courage, or they can feed cowardice. A lover may draw out patience and tenderness, or may awaken jealousy and bitterness. A mentor may strengthen wisdom, or may nurture arrogance. Thus, every relationship is a soil into which the roots of our character grow—sometimes watered by virtue, sometimes poisoned by folly. To choose a relationship, therefore, is to choose what part of ourselves shall flourish.

The ancients spoke often of this truth. The philosopher Aristotle declared that friendship was the mirror of the soul—that a true friend reflects back the best in us, while a false one magnifies our flaws. Consider Alexander the Great, whose bond with Aristotle as teacher nurtured his hunger for knowledge and strategy. Yet also consider how his ties with flatterers in his later years encouraged recklessness and pride. His triumphs and his tragedies alike reveal Murdock’s wisdom: that strength and weakness are drawn forth through the company we keep.

History, too, shows us this power. Think of Martin Luther King Jr., whose relationships with fellow leaders like Ralph Abernathy and Bayard Rustin strengthened his resolve for nonviolence, courage, and vision. Surrounded by men and women who nurtured his best qualities, he became a beacon of justice. Contrast this with the tale of Adolf Hitler, whose inner circle of sycophants and manipulators fanned his darkest weaknesses—hatred, pride, and rage—until they consumed nations. Two men, two sets of relationships, and two destinies that illustrate the eternal law: who surrounds you shapes who you become.

Murdock’s words also call us inward, to recognize that relationships are not only about companionship, but about transformation. The gentle hand of a parent may nurture compassion. The sternness of a teacher may forge discipline. Even the betrayal of a friend may awaken resilience or bitterness within us. Every bond plants seeds; the question is whether they are seeds of strength or seeds of weakness. We are not only receivers in this process, but also givers—for just as others shape us, we in turn nurture something within them.

The lesson for us is clear: we must choose our relationships with care, and cultivate them with wisdom. Ask yourself: does this bond draw out my highest self, or does it feed my lesser nature? Do I feel stronger, wiser, more courageous in the company of this person, or weaker, smaller, diminished? To walk with the wise is to grow in wisdom; to walk with the foolish is to stumble in their folly. And just as important—what do I awaken in others? Do I nurture their light or feed their shadows?

Practically, this means seeking out companions, teachers, and beloved ones who challenge us toward virtue, and distancing ourselves from those who consistently nurture weakness. It means being intentional in how we relate—encouraging, inspiring, sharpening others rather than pulling them down. Keep company with the courageous, and your courage will grow. Keep company with the bitter, and bitterness will seep into your soul. Choose well, for in your choosing lies the shaping of your destiny.

So let us remember Mike Murdock’s wisdom: every relationship is a forge, and in its fire something in you is being strengthened or weakened. Be vigilant, for these fires shape your character and your fate. Walk with those who call forth your best, and be one who calls forth the best in others. In this way, your relationships will not nurture weakness, but will continually refine the strength that will carry you through the battles of life.