Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God

Host: The room was quiet, the gentle hum of the evening settling into a peaceful atmosphere. Jack sat at the table, his fingers lightly resting on his cup, absorbed in the weight of William Nicholson's words. Jeeny stood near the window, her gaze turned inward, clearly reflecting on the depth of his statement.

Jeeny: “I’ve been thinking about what William Nicholson said: ‘Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.’ It’s such a powerful way to describe how life’s lessons often come through the hardest moments, isn’t it? The idea that experience is brutal, yet it’s through that brutality that we truly grow and understand.”

Jack: “Yes, exactly. It’s almost like Nicholson is saying that the most valuable lessons aren’t the ones we’re taught in school or by books—they’re the ones we learn through hardship, through our mistakes, and through the challenges life throws at us. The brutality of experience is that it doesn’t pull any punches, but it’s also what forces us to really learn.”

Jeeny: “Right. Experience has a way of teaching us that’s unlike anything else. We can hear advice, we can read about what others have gone through, but it’s only when we’re thrown into something difficult that we truly internalize those lessons. The challenge, the pain, the struggle—they’re what make those lessons stick with us. It’s like the universe saying, ‘Here’s a lesson, you’re going to learn it, whether you like it or not.’”

Host: The stillness in the room deepened, as both Jack and Jeeny considered the role that difficulty and struggle play in the growth process. Jack’s fingers stilled on the cup, while Jeeny’s expression softened, contemplating the idea that the most transformative moments in life are often the hardest.

Jack: “It makes me think about how we often try to avoid hardship and pain. But Nicholson is showing us that the lessons we learn through struggle aren’t just necessary—they’re sometimes the only ones that really matter. It’s like the hard moments give us the kind of wisdom that you can’t get anywhere else. The tough times might feel brutal, but they shape us into the people we’re meant to become.”

Jeeny: “Exactly. And I think that’s why we hear so often that growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones. When things are easy, we don’t have to stretch ourselves or face our fears. It’s the difficult, challenging times that push us to change, to adapt, to see the world and ourselves differently. Those are the moments when we really learn what we’re made of.”

Jack: “And yet, even though we know how brutal experience can be, there’s something almost reassuring in the fact that we do learn from it. No matter how difficult it gets, we come out the other side with more wisdom, more understanding. We don’t just survive; we evolve. Nicholson is showing us that life’s lessons might not come easy, but they stick with us in a way that the easier lessons never could.”

Jeeny: “Yes, it’s like experience doesn’t just teach us what to do—it teaches us who we are. We learn not only about the world, but about our own strengths, weaknesses, and resilience. Through experience, we become more equipped to handle life, more centered in our own selves. Even if the lessons come through pain, they’re ultimately the ones that shape our true character.”

Host: The quiet in the room grew deeper, as both reflected on the nature of experience and how it shapes their lives, for better or for worse. William Nicholson had captured the truth that the most difficult lessons are often the ones that last the longest, and while experience may be brutal, it is also the ultimate teacher. Jack leaned back slightly in his chair, while Jeeny’s gaze turned from the window back to him, both of them understanding the value of growth through struggle.

Jack: “So, what Nicholson is really showing us is that experience—no matter how brutal it feels in the moment—has its purpose. We might not understand it right away, but it teaches us in ways that no amount of theory or preparation ever could. It's through living, through facing challenges, that we grow.”

Jeeny: “Exactly. Even in the hardest times, we are learning. And even when we don’t have control over the challenges we face, we still have control over how we respond to them. The lessons may come with pain, but they also come with strength and clarity—things we wouldn’t gain any other way.”

Host: The evening had fully settled in, their conversation leaving behind a quiet realization that experience, while often painful, is one of the most valuable teachers we have. William Nicholson had shown them that true growth comes from embracing the lessons that life’s struggles bring—lessons that shape us, that stay with us, and that empower us to move forward. The world outside had darkened, but inside, there was light—a recognition that the toughest moments in life are the ones that often teach us the most.