Few people have the wisdom to prefer the criticism that would do

“Few people have the wisdom to prefer the criticism that would do them good, to the praise that deceives them.” These words from François de La Rochefoucauld reveal a timeless truth about the nature of self-awareness and the human desire for validation. Rochefoucauld suggests that while most people seek praise, even when it is unearned or deceptive, true wisdom lies in recognizing the value of criticism that might sting, but ultimately guides us toward growth and improvement. The great challenge of life is to resist the temptation of hollow approval and to seek instead the constructive feedback that forces us to confront our flaws and rise above them.

The ancients understood this tension well. In Plato’s Republic, Socrates demonstrated the power of criticism in his dialectical method, where he would challenge his interlocutors to examine their beliefs, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. Socrates was not interested in flattery but in discovering the truth, no matter how hard it was to face. His wisdom lay in his willingness to seek out criticism — from others, from himself, and from the world — understanding that it is only through this self-examination that one can attain the highest virtue. He preferred the bite of honest criticism over the soothing balm of empty praise.

Consider the life of King Solomon, whose reign was marked by both wisdom and humility. Despite being known as one of the wisest rulers in history, he was not immune to the effects of praise. Early in his reign, Solomon’s heart was swayed by flattery and superficial adoration, but through experience, he came to recognize the value of honest counsel and criticism. The story of the two women who came to him with the claim over a single child highlights his ability to see through flattery and reach the truth. His wisdom grew not just through his own intellect but through his willingness to accept constructive criticism and to value the guidance of others, even when it was uncomfortable.

La Rochefoucauld's observation also resonates in the life of Winston Churchill during the dark days of World War II. As Prime Minister of Britain, Churchill was lauded for his leadership, but he was also constantly challenged and criticized. However, he was a man of wisdom, knowing that in times of crisis, it was the criticism of his decisions that would sharpen his resolve and lead to victory. Though the praise he received buoyed his spirits, it was the constructive criticism — whether from his generals or from political opponents — that helped him steer Britain through its darkest hours. Churchill knew that praise without substance was fleeting, while criticism with substance could forge a stronger, more capable leader.

The story of Steve Jobs, the visionary behind Apple, also illustrates the tension between praise and criticism. Jobs was known for his perfectionism and his harsh criticisms of those around him, often seeing things others could not. Yet, he surrounded himself with people who challenged him, people who were unafraid to offer criticism when necessary. It was this constant engagement with the tough truths — even when it felt uncomfortable or even unfair — that led to some of the most innovative products ever created. Jobs’ success was not built on praise but on his willingness to accept and act upon the criticism that would force him to evolve and lead his company to new heights.

Thus, La Rochefoucauld teaches us that true wisdom is not in seeking the comforting words of praise, but in seeking the challenge of criticism that forces us to confront our limitations. It is easy to surround ourselves with those who will tell us what we want to hear, but real wisdom comes from those who will offer us the insights we need, even when they are difficult to accept. To grow, to evolve, to become the best version of ourselves — this is the path of true wisdom, a path marked not by the empty satisfaction of praise, but by the hard-earned lessons of criticism.

In conclusion, let us reflect on La Rochefoucauld's teaching: that criticism, though often uncomfortable, is the gateway to true growth and wisdom. Let us embrace the constructive feedback of others, knowing that it is through such challenges that we refine our character and understanding. The truly wise are not those who seek only praise but those who welcome the truths, however difficult, that lead them to greater strength and wisdom.