For decades, parents were told by so-called parenting 'experts'

In the words of Bob Barr, we hear a warning against the excesses of misguided wisdom: “For decades, parents were told by so-called parenting experts that offspring would be best raised on the belief each is special and entitled to all life has to offer.” These words pierce through the soft veil of flattery that has long been draped over the raising of children. Barr unmasks the danger of indulgence disguised as love, the peril of raising generations on the foundation of entitlement rather than resilience. For while it is true that every soul carries worth beyond measure, it is also true that worth must be tempered by humility, effort, and discipline.

The ancients often warned against such folly. The Stoics taught that fortune and honor are fleeting, and that the only true possession lies in virtue and self-mastery. The Hebrews told of King Solomon, who in his wisdom knew that without labor and discipline, wealth and privilege corrupt the heart. To tell a child they are special without also teaching them the weight of responsibility is to build a palace on sand. It may glitter in the sun, but the first storm will bring it down.

History bears witness to the truth of Barr’s words. Consider the decline of Rome, when emperors and elites raised their children in luxury, feeding them on entitlement and ease. These young heirs, born into the belief that the world existed for their pleasure, grew weak of spirit and shallow of purpose. Their indulgence became the rot that hollowed the empire’s strength. Contrast this with the Spartan upbringing, harsh though it was, which taught children endurance, discipline, and unity. The former raised decadence; the latter raised resilience. In this comparison we see clearly the danger of flattery and the power of discipline.

Barr’s words also remind us of the false prophets of modern times—those experts who promised parents that the balm of constant praise would yield confident and capable adults. Yet, in truth, endless affirmation without challenge produces fragility, not strength. A child who believes the world owes them every gift will falter when the world demands labor, sacrifice, and humility. Love without guidance becomes indulgence; encouragement without truth becomes deception. Parenting must be more than comfort—it must be preparation for the trials of life.

The meaning of the quote is thus both emotional and heroic. Parents, in their tenderness, wish to protect their children from pain. But to shield too much is to leave them unarmed. True parenting does not worship the child’s uniqueness as entitlement, but honors it as potential. Potential must be forged like iron in the fire of discipline, effort, and failure. Only then does a child learn that their “specialness” lies not in being served by the world, but in serving it with courage and skill.

The lesson for us is clear. First, let us love our children fiercely, but not flatter them falsely. Second, let us teach them that though they are precious, they are not entitled—that life gives nothing freely, but yields richly to those who labor with honesty and perseverance. Third, let us reclaim the wisdom of balance: to affirm a child’s worth while also teaching them humility, patience, and endurance.

O seekers of truth, remember this: to tell a child only that they are special is to weaken them. But to tell them that they are capable, resilient, and responsible—that is to arm them for the storms of life. Entitlement is a chain disguised as a crown; discipline is the true freedom.

Thus, Bob Barr’s words endure as counsel to parents and societies alike. Let us not be deceived by easy promises or flattering doctrines. Let us raise children not only to feel loved, but also to be strong. For in that strength lies the hope of families, nations, and the generations yet unborn.