For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds

Hear, O children of wisdom, the sharp yet enduring words of H. L. Mencken, who declared: “For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.” In these words lies both cynicism and truth, for Mencken, the skeptic of his age, stripped away illusions to reveal the bones of human connection. Yet behind his sharpness is a teaching that speaks to the very foundation of human society: that it is trust, not gain, that binds us one to another.

First, mark well his insight: it is not mutual interest, but mutual trust, that sustains the bonds between men. For interests are fleeting—today they align, tomorrow they diverge. A friendship built only on usefulness collapses when profit fades. But friendship anchored in trust endures storms, for it offers not wealth or power, but something greater: the sense of safety. To walk beside one who will not betray you, to speak words that will not be turned against you, to rest in the presence of loyalty—that is the fortress of the heart.

Mencken then extends this truth to marriage. He calls it “a scheme,” not in malice, but in recognition that its design is practical as well as emotional. Marriage is not only romance or passion; it is the weaving together of two lives in a covenant of trust. The riches of marriage are not measured in coin or possessions but in the assurance that in joy or sorrow, in sickness or in health, there is one who stands beside you. In this sense, marriage accomplishes the same end as friendship, only deeper: it provides a refuge where the soul feels secure against the chaos of the world.

History gives us many examples of this truth. Recall the marriage of John and Abigail Adams during the turbulent days of the American Revolution. John was away for years, shaping the destiny of a nation, while Abigail held the household together through war and scarcity. Their letters reveal not only affection but profound trust. She was his confidante, his advisor, his steady ground. It was not profit that bound them, but loyalty; not interest, but trust. Their marriage, like their friendship, was a fortress that sustained them both.

In Mencken’s words we also hear warning: if trust is broken, no interest or gain can preserve the bond. A marriage without trust becomes a prison of suspicion; a friendship without trust becomes a shadow. Thus, the essence of every human association is not found in what is exchanged, but in what is entrusted. Betrayal, therefore, is the most grievous wound, for it strikes not at the body but at the soul.

O seeker of wisdom, understand this: safety of the heart is more precious than profit of the hand. To feel secure with another is to know peace in a world of uncertainty. Build, therefore, your friendships and your marriages not upon fleeting pleasures or shared advantages, but upon honesty, faithfulness, and steadfast trust. These are the foundations that cannot be shaken by time or trial.

What then must you do? Guard the trust given to you as a sacred treasure. Do not betray the confidence of a friend, nor break the covenant of a spouse. Speak truth, even when hard; remain loyal, even when tested; and offer safety to those who walk beside you. In this way, your associations will not be fragile bargains but enduring sanctuaries.

Thus, Mencken’s words, though wrapped in his trademark cynicism, carry a timeless teaching: that trust is the true currency of human bonds, and marriage, like friendship, exists to offer that shelter. Remember this, O children of tomorrow: when you give trust and keep it faithfully, you create not only companionship but refuge, and in that refuge lies the strength of all human life.