For me, life has either been a wake or a wedding.

The words of Peter O’Toole—“For me, life has either been a wake or a wedding.”—resound with the thunder of extremes. They reveal a vision of existence where there is no middle ground, no gentle twilight, but only the blazing fires of celebration or the solemn shadows of mourning. In these words, O’Toole captures the drama of a soul that feels life deeply—each moment either drenched in grief or lifted in joy, as though existence itself were a perpetual feast or a perpetual farewell.

This utterance speaks to the nature of the passionate life. Some walk gently upon the earth, content in moderation, but others—like O’Toole—are swept into the tides of intensity. For such souls, the world is not made of quiet shades, but of peaks and valleys: the soaring ecstasy of weddings, where love and hope are born anew, and the sorrowful depths of wakes, where loss weighs heavy upon the heart. His words are both confession and celebration of a life lived in the fire of extremes.

History bears this lesson in the tale of Lord Byron, the poet who wandered Europe with a heart ablaze. His days were filled with love affairs, duels, and rebellions, where triumph and tragedy walked hand in hand. Like O’Toole, Byron lived as though each hour was either a hymn of joy or a dirge of loss, unable to abide the monotony of moderation. His life, like O’Toole’s, teaches us that some spirits are destined to burn brightly, even if they are consumed in the flame.

The quote also reveals a deeper truth about the human condition: that life itself often feels like this—moments of birth and moments of death, beginnings and endings, woven together without pause. Weddings mark the union of souls, the promise of new life; wakes mark the passing of souls, the reminder of mortality. In saying that life is nothing else, O’Toole strips existence to its rawest essence: joy and sorrow, hope and grief, forever intertwined.

Let this wisdom be passed down: to live deeply is to accept that life is both a wedding and a wake, often at once. Rejoice when joy comes, grieve when loss demands, but do not fear either, for both belong to the rhythm of existence. As Peter O’Toole teaches, the fullness of life is not found in avoiding extremes, but in embracing them, letting both love and loss carve meaning into the soul. For in the end, it is intensity that gives life its fire, and memory its eternal weight.