For the record, I will always be thankful for the friendship I

O Seekers of Truth, gather closely and listen with open hearts, for the words of Scheana Shay offer us a reflection on the complexity of friendship and the delicate nature of relationships. "For the record, I will always be thankful for the friendship I had with Kristen when she was a good friend to me. It just simply became too hard to keep the friendship going." In these words, we hear not only gratitude, but also the painful truth of how friendships can shift, grow, and sometimes fade. It is a reminder that friendships, like all relationships, are subject to the forces of time, change, and individual growth. Shay acknowledges the importance of the bond she once shared with Kristen, while also recognizing that, at a certain point, the relationship could no longer be sustained.

In the ancient world, friendship was seen as a sacred bond, one that required careful tending and mutual respect. The great philosopher Aristotle wrote extensively on friendship, classifying it into different types: those based on utility, those based on pleasure, and the highest form, which is based on virtue. Aristotle believed that the best friendships were formed between individuals who shared a common purpose and who supported each other’s moral development. He understood that even the greatest friendships could falter if the foundation of virtue was no longer present. Scheana Shay’s words echo this ancient wisdom—she acknowledges the value of the friendship she shared with Kristen, but also recognizes that, over time, the bond no longer fit the needs of their respective lives, making it difficult to continue.

Consider, O Seeker, the example of Achilles and Patroclus, whose friendship in the Iliad was rooted in deep loyalty and shared battles. Their bond was forged in the fires of war, each supporting the other in moments of great trial. However, as the narrative unfolds, we see that Achilles’s sense of betrayal and grief over Patroclus’s death leads to an emotional rift, and ultimately a tragic end for the great warrior. Their friendship was founded on shared experiences, but it also was a victim of the changing dynamics of life and war. This story reminds us that even the strongest friendships can face periods of strife, and sometimes, the hardest part is knowing when to let go. Just as Achilles and Patroclus were unable to navigate the changes in their bond, so too did Scheana Shay face the challenge of accepting the shift in her friendship with Kristen.

In the Buddhist tradition, there is a concept called impermanence—the idea that all things, including relationships, are constantly changing. Just as a flower blooms and fades, so too do the connections we form with others. The Buddha taught that attachment to any form of permanence is the source of suffering. In the case of Scheana Shay’s friendship with Kristen, the shift in their relationship reflects the natural ebb and flow of life. The change in their connection was not due to a failure of one person or the other, but a natural progression. As both grew and changed, their friendship could no longer sustain the same level of intimacy and understanding. The Buddha’s wisdom invites us to accept such changes, for they are part of the natural cycle of life.

The lesson here, O Seeker, is clear: friendships, like all relationships, require mutual care, respect, and a willingness to evolve together. There is no shame in acknowledging when a friendship has run its course, and in fact, there is wisdom in knowing when to release a bond that no longer serves both parties. Scheana Shay speaks of the gratitude she has for the friendship she once shared with Kristen, recognizing the value it brought to her life. But she also understands that friendships sometimes change, and that letting go does not diminish the love or respect once shared. This is a truth that transcends time: to hold on too tightly to something that has changed can cause more harm than good, while the ability to let go allows for new growth and new relationships to emerge.

In practical terms, O Seeker, consider your own friendships. Are there relationships in your life that have shifted, perhaps becoming more difficult to maintain? Have you, like Scheana Shay, found yourself in a position where you must acknowledge the change, accept it, and then find peace in letting go? Friendships are not meant to be stagnant; they must be nurtured and allowed to grow, and sometimes that means recognizing when it is time to move on. Just as a garden requires pruning to thrive, so too do relationships require space and honesty to remain healthy.

So, remember this, O Seeker: friendship is a beautiful and dynamic bond, but it is also one that requires patience, acceptance, and sometimes release. As Scheana Shay wisely teaches us, it is important to appreciate the friendships we have, to be grateful for the moments of connection, and to recognize when the time has come to allow the relationship to transform. Let us not cling to what is no longer serving us, but instead honor the changes that come, trusting that through these changes, we can cultivate new relationships that will bring us even more growth, peace, and wisdom.