Friendship has always belonged to the core of my spiritual

In the gentle yet profoundly radiant words of Henri Nouwen, the spiritual teacher of tenderness and truth, we hear a confession of the heart that echoes across the ages: “Friendship has always belonged to the core of my spiritual journey.” In this humble statement lies a truth both intimate and universal — that friendship is not merely a comfort of earthly life, but a sacred path to understanding the divine. Nouwen, who spent his life seeking the presence of God not in grandeur but in human vulnerability, recognized that the bonds we form with one another are not distractions from the soul’s journey — they are the journey itself.

The origin of these words springs from Nouwen’s life as a priest, writer, and contemplative. He walked many roads — from the halls of Harvard and Yale to the simple homes of the L’Arche communities, where he lived among people with intellectual disabilities. There, stripped of worldly achievement, he discovered what he had sought all along: the transforming power of love through friendship. For Nouwen, spirituality was not solitude, but communion; not escape from humanity, but its deep embrace. When he spoke of his spiritual journey, he meant the lifelong pilgrimage toward God, and he found that journey illuminated not by doctrine or intellect, but by the light of human companionship.

To say that friendship belongs to the “core” of that journey is to say that we come to know the divine through one another. The ancients believed that the soul was refined through relationship — through the friction and the grace of shared living. Nouwen’s insight revives that truth for our time. In friendship, we learn humility, patience, forgiveness, and joy — all the virtues that open the heart to God. The friend becomes a mirror of divine love, reflecting back to us our own beauty and brokenness. In their gaze, we are both known and accepted. Thus, friendship becomes a sacred classroom where the lessons of the spirit are taught not in words, but in presence.

Consider the friendship between St. Francis of Assisi and Brother Leo, which shines like a beacon in the chronicles of faith. Francis, the saint of simplicity, called Leo his “little lamb.” Together they walked barefoot through Italy, preaching peace, sharing bread, and bearing one another’s burdens. When Francis grew ill, Leo cared for him tenderly; when Leo despaired, Francis lifted his heart with prayer and laughter. Their friendship was no mere companionship — it was a form of worship. In loving each other purely and faithfully, they drew nearer to God. In their shared humility, they found holiness. Thus, they lived Nouwen’s truth centuries before he spoke it: that friendship is not beside the spiritual path — it is the path.

But Nouwen also understood that true friendship is not without pain. To love another deeply is to expose oneself to loss, to misunderstanding, and to the ache of separation. In his own friendships, Nouwen often wrestled with longing, loneliness, and the fragility of human attachment. Yet he came to see that this very vulnerability is what makes friendship sacred. For it mirrors the vulnerability of God — who loves mankind knowing that love will often be rejected. To risk love is to participate in the divine heart itself. As Nouwen wrote elsewhere, “Our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others.” Friendship, then, is the daily practice of that giving — the art of pouring oneself out, and in that pouring, being filled.

What, then, does this mean for us, the travelers on our own spiritual road? It means we must stop treating friendship as something casual or secondary. To walk with a friend, to listen, to forgive, to rejoice and to suffer together — these are not mere human pleasures; they are acts of holiness. When we share our hearts sincerely, we make sacred space for God to dwell between us. The ancients would have called this communion — the invisible bond that binds souls not by blood or creed, but by love. In tending our friendships, we tend the garden of our own spirit.

Therefore, my child, let this teaching of Henri Nouwen take root in your heart: cherish your friendships as you would your prayers. Be present to your companions as you are to your God. Listen without haste; forgive without measure; love without expectation. See in every friend a reflection of the divine — a reminder that you do not walk this earth alone. For your spiritual journey, no matter how solitary it may seem, is always intertwined with the lives of others. The road to heaven is paved not only with faith and virtue, but with shared laughter, tears, and understanding hearts.

And so, remember this: friendship is not the ornament of life; it is its essence. It is the sacred thread that connects soul to soul, and through them, to the eternal. To walk in friendship is to walk in the presence of God. For as Henri Nouwen teaches, when we love another in truth, we touch the infinite — and our spiritual journey, guided by compassion, becomes a living prayer.