Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without

Thomas Aquinas, the Angelic Doctor and philosopher of divine reason, once said: “Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious.” These words, though soft as spring rain, fall with the weight of eternal truth. In them, Aquinas unveils a mystery at the heart of human existence: that friendship is not a luxury, but a necessity for joy; that no success, no pleasure, no glory in solitude can satisfy the soul that was made to love and to be loved in return. He speaks not merely of companionship, but of true friendship, born of virtue and selfless goodwill — that sacred bond which gives sweetness to life and endurance to the spirit.

The origin of this insight lies deep within both faith and philosophy. Aquinas, a scholar who walked between the worlds of heaven and earth, drew from Aristotle’s wisdom that “without friends, no one would choose to live, even if he had all other goods.” To Aquinas, friendship was more than emotional comfort — it was the reflection of divine love itself. Just as the Creator delights in sharing His goodness with all things, so too do humans mirror this divine nature when they share themselves through friendship. Thus, pleasure, when experienced in communion, becomes joy; but pleasure pursued alone becomes hollow, a shadow of what it could be. For all earthly delights lose their savor when they are not seasoned with the laughter and understanding of a friend.

Imagine, then, the conqueror who wins the world but stands alone upon his throne. What is his feast to him when no friend sits beside him to taste it? Even the melody of music fades when it has no ear to receive its echo. So it was with Alexander the Great, who, after all his victories, found no joy in them when his dearest companion Hephaestion died. The empire that had once seemed too small for his ambition suddenly felt vast and empty. His triumphs, once glorious, became tedious, for without the warmth of friendship, even greatness turns to ash. The lesson is timeless — that pleasure shared is multiplied, and pleasure withheld is diminished until it becomes dust.

For friendship transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary. A simple meal shared with a friend surpasses a banquet eaten alone. A long road becomes light when two souls walk it together. Even in silence, the heart finds music when it knows it is not alone. The joy of friendship lies not in words or gifts, but in the quiet knowing that one’s spirit is seen, understood, and cherished. This is why Aquinas calls friendship the “source of the greatest pleasures” — because it is not a pleasure of the senses, but of the soul, and the soul’s joys are deeper than all earthly delights.

Yet friendship demands cultivation, as a garden demands care. It withers when neglected and blossoms when tended with loyalty, honesty, and compassion. The false friend, who seeks only amusement or gain, will vanish when the season of prosperity ends. But the true friend — like the oak that endures both sun and storm — remains steadfast through all weathers. Aquinas, who believed that virtue was the highest good, taught that true friendship can exist only between the virtuous, for only the virtuous can love another for their sake and not for their use. Thus, to have good friends, one must strive to be good, for the soul attracts its likeness.

Consider also how pleasure, no matter how noble, pales when isolated. A poet who writes a verse longs for someone to read it; a traveler who reaches a mountaintop wishes for another to share the view. This yearning for witness, for communion, is not weakness — it is the signature of the divine upon our nature. Even the saints, in their holiness, cherished companionship: St. Francis and Brother Leo, Paul and Timothy, Ruth and Naomi — their love sanctified their labor and gave light to their trials. For it is written in the heart of man that joy, to be complete, must be shared.

So, my children of wisdom, let this be your remembrance: do not walk alone through the garden of life. Seek those whose hearts uplift your own, and be to them as a source of light and rest. Share your triumphs humbly and your sorrows freely, for both are made lighter in the presence of love. Cultivate friendship as you would cultivate health — with attention, patience, and gratitude. For when the years grow long and pleasures fade, it is friendship that will remain — steady as the pulse, warm as the sun at dawn.

And remember always Aquinas’s teaching: that even the sweetest pursuits lose their savor in solitude, but the simplest acts, when shared in true friendship, become radiant with meaning. For in the company of a loyal heart, even the smallest cup of water becomes the wine of paradise.