Friendships naturally shift over life. We have different friends

Hear the gentle and wise words of Tara Stiles, teacher of movement and mindfulness, who said: “Friendships naturally shift over life. We have different friends for different times in our lives, and sometimes it’s not the best idea to hang on to a friendship to try to make it work if it’s an unhealthy connection.” In these words lies the timeless rhythm of human existence — the understanding that all things, even the most cherished, are subject to change. Just as the tides retreat after they touch the shore, so too do some friendships, having served their sacred purpose, drift quietly into memory. Tara Stiles speaks not in sorrow, but in acceptance — reminding us that growth often requires release, and that true wisdom lies not in holding on, but in letting go with grace.

In the vast dance of life, few truths are as constant as change. Friendship, like the seasons, blooms and fades in its own time. When we are young, we seek playmates who mirror our innocence; in the years of ambition, we are drawn to those who share our dreams; and in the twilight of life, we long for companions who bring peace to our hearts. Each friendship reflects the soul’s current season — it offers what is needed, teaches what must be learned, and moves on when the lesson is complete. To resist this natural flow is to fight the current of existence itself. Tara Stiles reminds us that clinging to bonds that no longer nurture us is not loyalty, but fear — the fear of loneliness, the fear of change. Yet it is through release that we make space for new light to enter.

The ancients, too, understood this truth. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus proclaimed, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and he is not the same man.” The same is true of friendship. Two people, though once bound in perfect harmony, cannot remain unchanged forever. The river of life carries them onward — one perhaps toward the mountains, another toward the sea. If we force the river to stay still, it stagnates; if we cling too tightly to the past, we suffocate the beauty that once was. Thus, wisdom calls us to gratitude — to honor what was without demanding that it always remain.

Consider the story of Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed, two men whose friendship shaped their early lives. They were inseparable in youth, bound by laughter, ambition, and shared ideals. But as Lincoln rose in his calling, his spirit turned toward the weight of leadership and the call of destiny. Speed, though still dear to him, walked a different path. Their closeness faded, not in anger, but in the quiet understanding that their seasons together had passed. Yet Lincoln never spoke of the friendship with regret — he cherished it as a guiding light of a chapter long complete. In their story, we see that to let go of a bond need not mean to destroy it. Sometimes, release is the purest form of love.

Tara Stiles’ words also speak to the courage required to end unhealthy connections. Not every friendship, no matter how long or familiar, serves our highest good. Some drain the spirit, others cloud the mind with negativity or demand more than they give. To hold on to such ties is to bind oneself to pain. The ancients would call this attachment without discernment — a chain that keeps the soul from rising. In the sacred texts of the East, it is taught that compassion must begin within. To walk away from toxicity is not cruelty, but wisdom; it is an act of self-love that allows both souls to grow separately toward light.

Yet the art of letting go must be guided by peace, not resentment. To part from a friendship in anger is to carry its weight with you. The wise do not burn the bridges of the heart; they cross them slowly, bow their heads in gratitude, and move forward without bitterness. For every person who leaves your path has given you something — a lesson, a memory, a mirror of your own growth. As the poet Rumi wrote, “Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” Friendship, then, is not lost; it merely changes form, living on in the wisdom it leaves behind.

The lesson, therefore, is both tender and profound: cherish every friendship while it lives, but have the courage to release it when it no longer brings harmony. Do not chain yourself to what drains you, nor close your heart to new beginnings. Just as the tree lets go of its leaves to prepare for spring, so must we let go of what no longer serves our growth. Friendship, like love, must flow — never forced, never stagnant, always alive.

So, dear listener, remember the wisdom of Tara Stiles. Do not mourn the shifting of friendships, for it is the natural song of life. Some souls walk beside you for a chapter, others for the entire tale. Welcome them all with openness, and when the time comes to part, do so with grace. For in this rhythm of meeting and release lies the beauty of being human — the endless cycle of connection, growth, and renewal that leads us ever closer to understanding what it means to truly love and to truly let go.