Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what

Hear the provocative words of Yul Brynner, actor of charisma and strength, who once declared: “Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.” At first glance, these words sting, for they seem wrapped in jest and irony, perhaps born of Brynner’s sharp tongue. Yet beneath their surface lies a meditation on perception, on the masks people wear, and on the shifting powers of wit, charm, and vulnerability. For though couched in humor, his remark reflects both the burdens and weapons of women in a world long shaped by men.

The origin of this thought rests in Brynner’s own era, the mid-20th century, when gender roles were rigid and often unfair. Women, denied the same access to power and opportunity, learned to navigate society’s structures with tools that were not always of their choosing. To be smart was a gift, but often ignored in a world that refused to hear their wisdom. To act dumb, or to play upon the expectations of men, became another strategy—one that could open doors closed to honest intellect. Brynner’s remark, though sardonic, points to this paradox: the “advantage” women held was not always one freely chosen, but one imposed upon them by circumstance.

History bears witness to such strategies. Consider the story of Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, remembered both for her intelligence and for her mastery of charm. She was a woman of profound political acumen, fluent in many languages, skilled in strategy and statecraft. Yet history often chose to remember her not for her brilliance, but for her ability to play upon men’s desires. To her enemies, she was portrayed as one who conquered through seduction rather than intellect. In truth, she wielded both, adapting to the prejudices of her time. In her, as in Brynner’s quote, we see the duality: women have long been forced to survive by shifting between wisdom and the performance of weakness.

But the deeper meaning is not a mockery of women, nor a praise of manipulation. Rather, it is a mirror of society’s failings. For if women can gain through “dumbness,” it is because men have underestimated them; if they must shift between masks, it is because their true selves were not honored. The “advantage” Brynner names is in truth a sign of imbalance, a world where women’s full powers were not welcomed, and so they learned to bend the game in their favor. The irony cuts both ways: what he called “unfair advantage” is, in fact, the ingenuity of survival.

Yet the words also reveal a universal lesson about power. Every person, whether man or woman, must learn to use the tools available to them. Some win by strength, others by cunning; some by honesty, others by irony. The wise recognize that power is not one shape but many, and that to navigate the world is to adapt to its illusions while never forgetting one’s inner truth. Women, constrained by centuries of expectation, became masters of this adaptation. What Brynner names humorously as “advantage” may also be admired as resilience, strategy, and subtlety.

The lesson for us is this: respect the unseen strengths of others. Never assume that a mask of weakness is real, nor that silence is ignorance. Many have learned to wear disguises in order to endure. To honor women—or any marginalized group—is to see beyond the surface, to recognize the intelligence, creativity, and dignity that lie beneath, even when hidden by necessity. The truly civilized society is one that no longer requires such disguises, one where strength need not be cloaked, and wisdom need not be hidden.

Practically, this means fostering a world where authenticity is welcomed. It means encouraging women—and men—to use their intelligence openly, without fear of dismissal. It means rejecting systems that reward pretense over truth. And it means learning for ourselves to be adaptable, to recognize that sometimes the world requires masks, but that the highest goal is to build a society where masks are no longer needed.

So let us hear Brynner’s words with both humor and gravity: “Girls have an unfair advantage over men…” The jest points to a truth: power often lies in unexpected forms, and those denied the obvious paths will create new ones. Let us not call this “unfair,” but rather honor it as ingenuity born of necessity. And let us labor for the day when no one must choose between being smart or “dumb” to survive—but may instead walk in the fullness of their true power, respected for what they are.