He that is jealous is not in love.

There are truths about the heart that have echoed through centuries, carrying the weight of wisdom and the light of understanding. Among these is the solemn declaration of Saint Augustine, who taught: “He that is jealous is not in love.” In these few words lies a piercing insight into the nature of true affection. Augustine, the great theologian and philosopher of the early Christian Church, observed that genuine love is founded upon trust, generosity, and selflessness. When jealousy enters the heart, it betrays insecurity, possession, and fear—emotions incompatible with the pure and freeing essence of love.

To grasp the full meaning of Augustine’s insight, one must first understand what it means to truly love. Love is not ownership; it is not a chain that binds, but a force that uplifts. The lover rejoices in the joy and freedom of the beloved, trusts in their fidelity, and finds fulfillment in the flourishing of the other. Jealousy, by contrast, arises from fear of loss, suspicion of intentions, or desire to control. When one is jealous, the heart ceases to elevate; it constricts, measures, and diminishes the freedom of both self and beloved. Augustine warns that such an emotion is not love—it is its counterfeit, a shadow that obscures the light of genuine affection.

The origin of this wisdom lies in Augustine’s life and reflections. Living in the tumultuous world of fourth-century North Africa, Augustine experienced the trials of passion, friendship, and devotion. His writings in Confessions reveal a man deeply aware of the fragility of human emotions and the perils of desire untamed by reason. Through contemplation and divine insight, Augustine discerned that jealousy is a sign of a heart enslaved by itself rather than liberated in love. To love freely is to release fear and possessiveness, embracing trust as the foundation of the bond.

History, too, provides vivid examples of Augustine’s truth. Consider the story of Abelard and Heloise, the famed lovers of medieval France. Though bound by passion, their relationship suffered under the weight of societal constraints and personal insecurities. The jealousy and possessiveness of others—family, society, and circumstance—only intensified their suffering. True love, as Augustine teaches, cannot survive where jealousy thrives; it must be a trust that transcends fear, a devotion that frees rather than confines. Abelard and Heloise’s tale illustrates the perils of affection tainted by suspicion and control.

Even among kings and leaders, the lesson persists. King Solomon, renowned for his wisdom, faced the corrosive effects of jealousy in the hearts of his subjects and consorts. Love cannot flourish where envy, suspicion, and possessiveness dominate. Augustine’s assertion reminds us that jealousy is a barrier, not a proof, of love. It signals a heart preoccupied with control and validation rather than with the well-being and freedom of the beloved. Where jealousy reigns, true love cannot dwell.

The moral and spiritual teaching of Augustine is profound. To love authentically is to trust without chains, to embrace without fear, and to rejoice in the growth and happiness of the other. A jealous heart seeks to guard and possess; a loving heart seeks to nurture and elevate. To cultivate love, one must examine the roots of jealousy within oneself, uproot insecurity, and replace it with faith, generosity, and humility. Love that is pure is never shackled; it is expansive, freeing, and selfless.

The lesson for every generation is unmistakable: if jealousy resides in your heart, examine whether what you feel is truly love or a reflection of fear. Seek to cultivate trust, compassion, and selfless devotion. Celebrate the joys of the beloved without envy, and release the need to control, for control is the enemy of love. Augustine’s wisdom teaches that the purity of affection is measured not by intensity of feeling, but by freedom of spirit.

Thus, let the words of Saint Augustine echo through time: “He that is jealous is not in love.” Love is not measured by ownership, suspicion, or restriction, but by trust, devotion, and the joy of the beloved. Free yourself from the chains of jealousy, and you will discover the true power of love: a force that uplifts, liberates, and endures beyond fear, envy, and doubt. True love, untainted by jealousy, is the highest expression of the human heart.