I always think there's some value in saying no with a smile.

Hear, O seekers of wisdom, the words of Grant Shapps, who declared: “I always think there’s some value in saying no with a smile.” This saying, though quiet in tone, resounds like a hidden bell, for it speaks of the power of denial delivered with grace, of firmness tempered with kindness, of truth that does not wound the soul. For in every age, men and women must learn the art of refusal, and in this art lies not only discipline, but also mercy.

The meaning is clear: to say no is often necessary, yet the manner of saying it shapes its effect. A cold refusal may harden hearts, stir resentment, or sow discord. But a refusal wrapped in a smile is like bitter medicine sweetened with honey—it heals while sparing unnecessary pain. Thus Shapps reveals an ancient truth: the form of our words is as important as their content. Just as a sharp blade can cut fruit cleanly or wound the flesh, so too can a refusal harm or heal depending on how it is delivered.

The ancients knew this lesson. Consider the story of King Solomon, who was sought by two mothers claiming the same child. He could not grant both their desires, for truth itself required a refusal. Yet he clothed his decision in wisdom, offering a solution that revealed the true mother’s love. Though he said no to one, his delivery preserved justice and compassion. In like manner, to say no with a smile is to preserve the dignity of both speaker and listener, keeping the bond of respect unbroken.

Think also of the statesman Abraham Lincoln, who bore the weight of countless requests during the crucible of war. He was famed not only for his decisions, but for the warmth with which he denied what could not be granted. His letters, even when delivering rejection, carried humor, grace, and gentleness, so that those refused still felt honored. This is the essence of Shapps’ teaching: a firm no may close a door, but a smile leaves the bridge intact.

The deeper lesson lies in self-mastery. For to say no is an act of strength, resisting the endless pull of demands that would drain one’s energy and purpose. Yet to say it with a smile requires a greater mastery still: the ability to govern one’s emotions, to refuse without cruelty, to balance truth with kindness. Such mastery is the mark of a leader, of a parent, of a friend—indeed, of any who walk the path of wisdom.

Therefore, my children, practice this in your daily life. When you must refuse, do so with clarity, but temper your tone with warmth. Remember that rejection delivered harshly can plant seeds of bitterness, but refusal given kindly can still inspire gratitude. Train yourself to carry a smile not as a mask, but as the outward sign of an inward desire for harmony. Let your no be firm, yet let your spirit remain generous.

For in the end, the measure of a person is not only in the promises they keep, but also in the refusals they deliver. Say yes when you can, and when you must say no, let it be clothed in grace. This is the way of balance, the way of peace, the way that preserves both truth and fellowship. And so, O listener, remember the teaching of Shapps: there is great value in saying no with a smile, for it turns necessity into wisdom and rejection into respect.