I can still love an ex as a person, regardless if the breakup

Hear the words of Ashley Greene, spoken not with bitterness but with grace: “I can still love an ex as a person, regardless if the breakup was bad. I would never wish anything negative on them. It takes more energy to hate them than to wish them well.” In this saying lies the wisdom of the heart that has endured pain yet refused to be corrupted by it. For love, once given, does not need to turn into hatred when its form changes. And hatred, though it promises power, drains the soul more deeply than forgiveness ever could.

The ancients knew this truth. They taught that resentment is like carrying burning coals in the hand, hoping to throw them at another, but instead only searing oneself. Hate is heavy, demanding constant fuel, gnawing at peace, consuming joy. Wishing well, even to those who have wronged us, is lighter. It frees the spirit, granting strength not only to the one forgiven but to the one who forgives. Thus Greene’s words echo the wisdom of sages: to choose benevolence over bitterness is not weakness, but mastery of the soul.

Consider the tale of Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome. Surrounded by betrayal and rivals, he could easily have chosen vengeance. Yet he wrote in his Meditations: “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.” He understood that hatred enslaves a man to his foe, chaining him forever to their memory. But to remain just, to wish well even to those who oppose you, is to rise above them. Marcus’ empire was not only of land but of spirit, for he refused to waste his energy on hate.

Greene also speaks of the paradox of love: that even after its end, it does not need to vanish. To love an ex as a person is to recognize their humanity beyond the wound, to honor the shared past without clinging to it. This is not the passion of romance, but the compassion of maturity. To transform what was once intimate into goodwill is a form of alchemy, turning sorrow into wisdom, and pain into peace.

History gives us another example in the story of Nelson Mandela. Imprisoned for decades, he could have emerged from his cell filled with hatred for his oppressors. Yet he chose forgiveness, not because they deserved it, but because he refused to let hatred sap his life. He knew well what Greene reminds us: that it takes more energy to hate than to bless. By wishing his enemies well, he liberated not only his nation but also his own heart.

The lesson, O seeker, is this: do not chain yourself to the bitterness of broken relationships. You are not bound to hatred simply because love has ended. Carry forward the lessons, remember the good, and wish them well, for in doing so you preserve your own soul from corrosion. The energy spent on hate is wasted; the energy spent on goodwill multiplies into peace.

Practical steps are clear: when you feel resentment rise, pause and ask yourself, “What am I feeding—hatred or peace?” Practice speaking blessings over those who once hurt you, even if your heart resists at first. Write down what you learned from the relationship, and then release the bitterness, keeping only the wisdom. Choose to view your ex not as an enemy, but as another traveler on the road of life, who shared part of your journey.

Thus remember Greene’s wisdom: to hate is to weaken, to wish well is to strengthen. Love, even after its ending, need not turn into poison. Let your energy be spent on peace, on kindness, on your own growth, not on bitterness. In this way, you will walk lighter, your heart unchained, and you will know the power of rising above the ruins of what once was.