I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that

The words of Oliver Goldsmith—“I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.”—shine with a wisdom that sees beyond the glitter of the moment into the endurance of years. Goldsmith reminds us that love is not founded upon fleeting beauty or dazzling charm alone, but upon qualities that remain steadfast when time has tested them. Just as a wedding gown must not only dazzle on the day of union but endure in memory and meaning, so too must a wife, chosen wisely, be valued for character, patience, and constancy.

This utterance speaks of the virtue of foresight in matters of the heart. Many are ensnared by passion’s fire, choosing partners for surface alone—youth, wealth, or charm. Yet these are garments of thin fabric, quickly worn and easily torn. Goldsmith’s metaphor suggests that true love must be woven from sturdier cloth: kindness, loyalty, humor, and resilience. These are the stitches that do not unravel with age, but instead grow more precious as life weathers the soul.

History offers us the example of Odysseus and Penelope, whose bond was not built on passing pleasures but on enduring trust. For twenty years, while Odysseus wandered in toil and peril, Penelope remained steadfast, her cleverness and loyalty never fading. In turn, Odysseus returned not only to reclaim his throne, but to reunite with the wife who had indeed “worn well.” Their love, like Goldsmith’s vision, endured because it was founded on qualities deeper than circumstance.

The quote also unveils the mutuality of choice. Goldsmith does not only boast of his discernment; he honors his wife’s own wisdom in choosing her gown—an emblem of care and discernment in her commitment. Marriage, then, is not a one-sided act, but a union of choices, each made with foresight and thought. Just as she chose her garment to endure, he chose his partner to stand the test of time.

Let this wisdom endure for generations: love must be founded not on the fleeting but on the lasting. Choose as one chooses garments for life’s most sacred ceremonies—not for the moment’s dazzle, but for the strength of the fabric. As Oliver Goldsmith teaches, a marriage chosen for qualities that wear well will not fade like silk in the sun, but endure as linen through the storms, binding two souls in a union that grows only richer with age.