I don't think it's more important to preserve female friendship

In the great tapestry of life, we often hear of the importance of marriage—the union between two souls that promises a shared destiny. Yet, there is another bond that has existed since time immemorial, often unspoken but no less powerful: the bond of female friendship. Diane English, in her reflection, speaks of this relationship with the wisdom that comes with age: "I don't think it's more important to preserve female friendship than a marriage. But I think that there's a place for female friendship that's really important in the lives of all the women I know. As I've gotten older, it's become much more important to me." These words reveal a profound truth: while marriage is sacred and vital, female friendship is equally essential, especially as we journey through the labyrinth of life.

The ancients knew the value of friendship, especially among women. In the stories of the great heroines—Antigone, Penelope, and Artemisia—we see that while they were often bound by duty and love to their families, it was the friendship of other women that helped them endure. Antigone, for example, despite her unyielding loyalty to family and country, found strength in her bond with her sister Ismene, who shared her struggles and griefs, even if their fates were different. This is the essence of female friendship: a connection that provides support, strength, and comfort, especially when the world is divided by conflict or personal struggle.

In Diane English’s words, we hear a call to recognize the importance of these friendships—friendships that offer a different kind of intimacy, a shared understanding of the challenges women face, and the complexities of life that are not always shared with spouses or family. These are the friendships that offer a place to laugh, cry, and share wisdom without the constraints of roles defined by marriage, motherhood, or society. They are bonds built not on the promise of forever, but on the understanding that time and distance may separate us, but the emotional connection will remain unbroken. The wisdom of these friendships grows as we do, becoming more crucial as we face the ever-evolving challenges of life.

Think of the friendship between Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Elizabeth, her cousin. Their relationship, though not the central focus of scripture, is profound in its support and shared experiences. Both women were faced with challenges that only another woman could truly understand—the weight of motherhood and the societal pressures that came with it. Their bond was one of comfort and strength, a quiet but essential force that helped them navigate their respective paths. In this, we see the power of female friendship, not as an afterthought, but as an equal force to the familial ties that bind.

The lesson in English’s reflection is clear: while marriage may be central to many lives, female friendship is a vital source of nourishment, growth, and resilience. These friendships offer a space where women can be themselves, without the weight of roles and expectations. They are a refuge from the world, a sanctuary where hearts can be laid bare, and souls can find rest. In a world that often demands that women be everything to everyone, their friendships remind them that they do not have to carry these burdens alone.

In our own lives, we must seek and nurture these kinds of friendships, knowing that they are not in competition with the bonds we share with our partners or families, but are equally essential. We should cherish the women who have been by our side, through joy and sorrow, and ensure that we, too, offer the same support and loyalty in return. Whether through shared memories, laughter, or just sitting together in silence, these relationships offer a balm for the soul. Let us, like Diane English, recognize the power of these bonds, and as we grow older, we may find them to be even more precious, a source of strength and understanding.

Thus, we are called to reflect on the female friendships that have shaped us and the ones we will continue to build. Let us honor these relationships, recognizing that they are just as significant as the bonds we share in marriage or family. In times of trial, it is often our closest friends who help us navigate the storms of life. Let us be wise enough to celebrate and cherish these friendships, for in them, we find not only comfort, but the strength to face whatever comes our way.