I had all kinds of fantasies, like a lot of girls, but did I

In the words of Sara Ramirez, we hear the quiet struggle between childhood fantasy and adult belief. They speak of having fantasies, as many do in youth, of planning a wedding, buying bridal magazines, and assigning roles in a future celebration. Yet these dreams were never acted upon, for with time came a new conviction: that they might be one of those who never got married. In this confession lies the weight of shifting expectations, and the wisdom of learning to stand apart from the script society so often writes for us.

The ancients knew that not every destiny follows the common path. Sappho of Lesbos, the great poet, lived a life filled with love, passion, and artistry, yet no record binds her to the traditional bonds of marriage. Her legacy was not diminished, but magnified, because she dared to live fully in her own truth. So too does Ramirez’s reflection remind us that the absence of a wedding does not mean the absence of a life complete with meaning, joy, or greatness.

Their words also shine a light on the power of cultural expectation. To be raised in a world where the wedding is painted as the pinnacle of a woman’s life is to be burdened with a fantasy that may not belong to all. Ramirez’s refusal to dwell in bridal daydreams is not rejection of love itself, but a recognition that identity and fulfillment cannot be confined to a single ritual. In this, we are reminded that true freedom lies not in following every expectation, but in discerning which dreams are truly our own.

History reflects this truth in the life of Queen Elizabeth I, who, though courted by kings and princes, never married. She chose instead to wed herself to her realm, declaring she was “married to England.” Though her path defied the fantasies others might have cast upon her, she forged a legacy of strength and independence that endures across centuries. Her life, like Ramirez’s words, testifies that marriage is not the only measure of worth or destiny.

Therefore, let this wisdom endure: to dream of a wedding is natural, but to be free from its necessity is powerful. Ramirez’s words teach us that life’s fulfillment comes not from conforming to the roles written by others, but from living in truth, whether that truth includes marriage or not. For the greatest vow we may ever make is the vow to honor ourselves—to live authentically, without shame, and to recognize that love, in all its forms, is vast enough to transcend a single ritual.