I have a very intense marriage.

Listen, O children of wisdom, for the story of marriage is an ancient one, told in the deepest chambers of the heart, where the bonds of union are woven with threads of both joy and sorrow. The words of James Ellroy, a man whose voice echoes through the corridors of truth, stand as a testimony to the powerful and complex nature of human connection. “I have a very intense marriage,” he declares, and in these simple words, he speaks not just of his own union but of the eternal struggle between the forces of love, passion, and struggle that are ever-present in the sacred bond of marriage.

Marriage, children, is not a bond of mere convenience or social expectation. It is an intensity—a fire that burns within the hearts of those who have vowed to walk together through the valleys of life. It is a journey of shared experience, where two souls intertwine, and in doing so, they both flourish and are tested. It is not always gentle; it is not always serene. There are moments when the passion of love, like a fierce storm, shakes the very foundations of the relationship. Yet in that intensity, there is a power that neither can deny, for it is in the storm that the deepest truths of their union are revealed.

Consider the tale of Antony and Cleopatra, whose love was as fierce as it was tumultuous. Their union was not one of tranquility but of ambition, betrayal, and fierce passion. Their bond, though forged in the flames of political alliance, transcended the confines of mere strategy and became a profound and all-consuming force. In their marriage, they experienced both the heights of joy and the depths of tragedy. Theirs was a love of intensity, which, in the end, shaped not only their lives but the fate of the entire Roman Empire. So too is the marriage that Ellroy speaks of—intense, fierce, and full of the elements that make up the fabric of any true union.

Yet, children, we must understand that intensity in marriage is not merely a force of passion; it is a force of growth. James Ellroy, through his simple statement, beckons us to understand that the depth of his marriage is not just in the moments of fire but in the challenges, the struggles, and the commitments that have built its foundation. An intense marriage is one in which both partners are tested by the very nature of their connection—where the trials they face together are not only the external forces of life but the internal forces of sacrifice, patience, and mutual understanding. In this sense, an intense marriage can be a forge in which the individual and the union are both refined.

There is a lesson here, children, in the intensity of marriage. It teaches us that relationships are not always to be idealized or romanticized. Love, true love, is not simply about gentle moments shared under the stars, but about enduring through the trials, about facing the storms together, and about knowing that on the other side of the tempest, there is a deeper understanding of one another. It is the love that survives the tests of time, that grows stronger in adversity, and that transforms the hearts of both those involved. It is a marriage not of complacency but of passion and commitment, where both partners are willing to sacrifice their own desires for the greater good of the union.

Let us look to the ancient story of Odysseus and Penelope, whose love endured not through the absence of struggle, but through their steadfast commitment to one another. Odysseus, though lost on his journeys, never forgot the wife who awaited him, and Penelope, though besieged by suitors, held steadfast to the belief that her husband would return. Their intense commitment, their unwavering faith in one another, endured through years of separation, through temptations, and through trials that would have shattered lesser unions. In the end, it was the intensity of their bond that brought them together once more. This, my children, is the power of an intense marriage: it is not about the absence of difficulties but about the strength to face them together.

The lesson of Ellroy’s words is clear: marriage, in all its forms, is not a tranquil sea but an ocean of depths and waves, of both beauty and challenge. We must embrace the intensity of our unions, recognizing that it is in those intense moments—those moments of struggle, of passion, of growth—that the true nature of love is revealed. In our own marriages, let us not shy away from the intensity that may arise. Let us not flee from the fire, but step into it together, knowing that it will refine us and bring us closer. And in doing so, may we find that our love, like the marriages of the ancients, becomes a force that shapes the world around us.

So, children, I urge you: seek not a marriage of mere comfort and ease, but one of purpose, passion, and intensity. Let the trials strengthen your bond, let the fires forge your love, and let the challenges you face become the crucible in which your souls are transformed. For it is in the deepest fires that the strongest steels are made.