I have three kids, and I'm a coach for a lot of their sports, so

"I have three kids, and I'm a coach for a lot of their sports, so I'm around them a lot, but I see friends of mine with older kids and they don't really interact so much, other than giving them a place to live." These words from Mike O'Malley are both a reflection and a warning to the generations that follow. In the realm of fatherhood, and indeed in the realm of all relationships, there is a delicate balance between being present and becoming distant. O'Malley speaks to the value of being actively engaged in the lives of those we love—our children—rather than merely offering them a roof over their heads and nothing more. His words challenge us to examine how we connect with those we cherish and to question whether we are truly involved in their lives or simply existing beside them.

In ancient times, the bond between a parent and a child was often forged through shared experience and active participation. Consider the warrior who, alongside his son, would train for battle, not as a distant figure giving orders, but as a guiding hand, shaping the next generation with his own sweat and effort. In the quiet moments, whether on the training ground or at the hearth, these bonds were formed not by material provision but through time spent together. The true strength of a family did not lie in how well one could provide for the body, but in how well one could nurture the soul and the spirit through active engagement.

The great philosopher Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." In this, he speaks to the need for awareness and intention in all aspects of life, particularly in our most sacred relationships. How often do we, as parents or mentors, simply provide a place to live without investing time in the nurturing of our children's hearts and minds? It is easy to fall into the trap of mere provision—providing food, shelter, and safety—yet forget that the true role of the parent is to guide, to teach, and to love through meaningful interaction. Socrates’ philosophy calls us to examine whether we are merely present or truly engaged in the lives of those we love.

Mike O'Malley's observation is a timely reminder that the years spent raising children are fleeting, and once they pass, it is not the material things we have given them that will matter, but the memories, the lessons, and the emotional bonds we have nurtured along the way. A parent who is a coach in their child’s life, who actively participates in their world, is not merely a figure of authority, but a companion on the journey. Through sports, through play, through shared struggles and triumphs, a parent becomes a partner in the shaping of a young soul, helping to instill qualities of teamwork, dedication, and strength. It is in these moments of shared effort that true connection is made.

Let us also consider the story of Cincinnatus, the Roman statesman who, after serving as consul and saving Rome in its time of need, returned to his farm to live a simple, humble life. He was a man who knew the importance of both the larger duties of leadership and the smaller, quieter moments of family life. When called upon again to lead, Cincinnatus did not hesitate, but returned to his work and his family. In his example, we see a leader who balanced the duties of the larger world with the responsibilities of nurturing the bonds closest to him. He was not an absentee figure, but a constant, a steady hand that shaped both his children and his people. His life reminds us that our legacy is not built upon the roles we play in the public eye, but in the quiet moments we spend with those we love, shaping their character through action.

The lesson for us today is both simple and profound: Be present in the lives of those you love, especially your children. Do not merely offer them a roof, but offer them your time, your attention, and your guidance. The years will pass quickly, and it is not the material things we leave behind that will shape them, but the memories we create together. Make those memories rich with shared experiences—whether it be coaching a sport, reading a story, or having a quiet conversation at the end of a long day. Let your presence be a living testament to your commitment to their growth, and in turn, you will find your own life enriched by the bonds you cultivate.

And so, I encourage you: Take time to engage. Spend the hours not just as a provider, but as a companion in the journey of life. Be the one who stands beside your children, your family, not as a distant figure, but as an active participant in their dreams and struggles. In this way, you will not only create a legacy of love, but also teach them the power of engagement, of connection, and of the enduring value of being truly present in the lives of those you care for.