I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married

Hear the raw and unvarnished truth spoken by Justin Halpern, who with both wit and honesty declared: “I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.” Beneath the humor of his words lies a reality as old as the human heart—that the path to lasting love is strewn with failures, heartbreaks, and shattered hopes, yet those very defeats pave the way toward the one victory that matters.

For who among us has not endured the losses of love? Friendships faded, romances collapsed, betrayals endured, dreams of companionship dissolved into silence. Each loss wounds the soul, leaving scars that ache in memory. Yet Halpern reminds us that these sorrows are not the end but the journey—the harsh training ground that prepares us for the deeper bond that, if found, redeems all others. The countless defeats are but the narrowing of a path, guiding us, sometimes painfully, toward the one union that endures.

The ancients themselves did not shy away from such reflections. The Greeks spoke of Eros, the god of love, as both playful and cruel, striking mortals without warning, leaving them elated one moment and desolate the next. They knew that to love is to risk ruin many times before finding balance. The Romans, too, carved into their poetry tales of endless failed loves, yet always holding out hope for one final bond that would outlast the others. The idea that love is born through loss and suffering was not foreign to them, for it is the nature of the human condition.

History itself gives us examples. Consider Abraham Lincoln, who endured heartbreak in his youth with the death of Ann Rutledge, an event that plunged him into despair. Yet he pressed onward, carrying that grief with him, until later he found stability and family with Mary Todd. His earlier losses did not vanish, but they shaped him, softened his heart, and gave him depth that would later mark his greatness as a leader. Love’s “one win” in marriage was built upon foundations of grief and perseverance.

Halpern’s words also remind us of humility. To speak of relationships as a “series of horrific losses” is to strip away illusions of perfection. Love is not a smooth ascent into bliss, but a battlefield where wounds are real. Yet the victory, when it comes, shines brighter precisely because of the struggles endured. The win is rare, but it is made more precious by the multitude of defeats that came before it.

The lesson, O seeker, is to endure the losses with patience and courage. Do not despair when love fails, for each ending is a teacher. With every heartbreak, you learn more about yourself, about what you need, about what you cannot accept. The pain is not meaningless; it is refinement, carving away illusion until you are ready for the one bond that can withstand the storms of life.

Practical steps are these: when you suffer a broken relationship, do not wallow forever in bitterness. Reflect on what it taught you. Write down its lessons, honor its role in your journey, and then release it. Approach new love not with cynicism, but with the wisdom purchased by pain. Trust that each “loss” is not wasted but is leading you closer to your “win.”

Thus remember Halpern’s wisdom: love is forged through many losses, but it is crowned by one true victory. The scars of the past are not signs of failure, but proof of courage—the courage to keep loving, to keep seeking, to keep hoping until the one bond is found that redeems them all. And when you find it, you will know that every heartbreak was the necessary path toward the one heart that makes all the suffering worthwhile.