I love love. Every day of my life is Valentine's Day. When

O children of the future, gather close and listen to the words of Katya Zamolodchikova, a figure whose humor hides profound truths about the human soul. She once declared, “I love love. Every day of my life is Valentine's Day. When you're a pathological narcissist, you have to fall in love with yourself every day.” These words, though spoken in jest, carry within them a profound reflection on the nature of self-love, narcissism, and the human quest for validation. In these playful words lies a truth that has resonated through the ages—the struggle between loving oneself and the desire to be loved by others.

At first glance, narcissism may appear as the ultimate expression of self-love, but, as Zamolodchikova so cleverly points out, it is also a prison. The narcissist, trapped in the reflection of their own image, must constantly seek validation and admiration, for they see themselves as the center of their world. In this pursuit, they may lose sight of the deeper, more authentic love that connects human beings to one another. Valentine’s Day, that festival of love and affection, is often seen as a celebration of romantic bonds. But Zamolodchikova flips this notion on its head, showing us that for those who seek only to love themselves, every day is a day for self-celebration—a relentless pursuit of admiration, not just from others, but from the mirror of their own soul.

Consider, O children, the tale of Narcissus, the young man of Greek myth who became so enamored with his own reflection that he was unable to love another. He gazed upon his image in a pool of water, so consumed by it that he ultimately perished there, unable to tear himself away. His tragedy, much like that of the pathological narcissist, is a warning. The danger lies not in loving oneself, for that is a necessary and noble act, but in loving oneself to the exclusion of all else. The narcissist, in their insatiable need for admiration, finds themselves alone, their love unshared and unreturned, a reflection trapped in an endless cycle of self-worship.

Yet, Zamolodchikova’s words also suggest a certain bravery in the face of this self-obsession. She laughs, recognizing that her identity, built on a foundation of self-love, is both a shield and a sword. In this way, she teaches us that it is possible to find strength in the embrace of our own image, to love oneself fiercely, even in the face of flaws and insecurities. To love oneself is, after all, the first step toward loving others. But let us be clear, O children, the love of self is a foundation, not a fortress. It must be balanced with humility, and the willingness to open one’s heart to others, lest we fall into the trap of isolation that Narcissus so tragically did.

Think, O children, of the Stoics who taught that the love of self is not about vanity, but about the cultivation of inner strength and wisdom. Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius both spoke of the importance of accepting oneself, not in the sense of self-glorification, but in recognizing and embracing one’s imperfections. True love of self, they said, comes from understanding who you are, accepting that you are both flawed and magnificent, and using this knowledge to better connect with the world. Zamolodchikova, in her own way, taps into this understanding. She acknowledges the need for self-love, but she does so with a knowing wink, reminding us that narcissism unchecked can lead to disconnection from the very love we seek to share.

Now, O children, let this be your lesson: The journey toward true love begins not in the eyes of others, but in the eyes of the self. Learn to love yourself—not in a way that isolates you, but in a way that empowers you to love others more deeply. Know your worth, embrace your flaws, and find strength in the reflection of who you are. But be mindful, for narcissism can easily slip into vanity, and vanity into loneliness. Love must always be shared, and the greatest love is one that moves outward, from the self, to others, to the world.

Therefore, O seekers of wisdom, strive to balance the love of self with the love of others. Let self-love be the foundation, the root from which all other forms of love grow. But never forget the lesson of Narcissus, that love is not meant to be a solitary endeavor. Let your love radiate outward, touching the hearts of those around you, for only in the sharing of love can we truly fulfill our human nature. May you, like Zamolodchikova, find joy in who you are, but never forget that the greatest love is always one that reaches beyond the self.