I loved my 17 years with R.E.M., but I'm ready to reflect, assess

“I loved my 17 years with R.E.M., but I'm ready to reflect, assess and move on to a different phase of my life. The four of us will continue our close friendship, and I look forward to hearing their future efforts as the world's biggest R.E.M. fan.” — in these words, Bill Berry, drummer and founding member of the legendary band R.E.M., speaks with the rare grace of one who understands the cycles of creation, camaraderie, and change. His statement is not merely the farewell of a musician; it is the quiet wisdom of a soul who knows that all things, even the most beautiful, must transform. Beneath his words lies an ancient truth — that love and friendship, when genuine, need not end when paths diverge, but can endure, purified by gratitude and release.

For seventeen years, Berry’s life had been interwoven with his bandmates — a brotherhood forged in the fires of art, success, and struggle. Together they built something timeless, crafting songs that became the voice of a generation. Yet, as in all long journeys, there comes a moment when the traveler must stop and look inward. To “reflect, assess, and move on” — these are the words of one who has learned to listen to the seasons of life. The ancients would have called this wisdom kairos — the right moment, the divinely appointed time to let go of one chapter and begin another.

In his words, there is no bitterness, no trace of rivalry or regret. Instead, there is gratitude, the mark of a noble heart. “The four of us will continue our close friendship,” he says — affirming that what they built as men is greater than what they achieved as musicians. R.E.M. was not only a band but a fellowship — a circle bound not by fame but by mutual respect and shared purpose. Berry’s departure reminds us that true friendship survives change, for it is rooted not in circumstance but in affection. Just as the river continues beyond its bend, so friendship continues beyond its season of work.

In this, Berry’s wisdom recalls that of Cincinnatus, the Roman farmer who was called to lead his people in war. After victory, when he could have seized power, he laid down his sword and returned to his fields. He understood that greatness lies not in clinging to one’s role but in knowing when to step aside with dignity. So too did Berry — walking away not from love, but toward balance, peace, and renewal. He left the stage not in defeat, but in self-awareness, an act of courage rarer than fame itself.

To call oneself “the world’s biggest R.E.M. fan” after leaving the band is a gesture of humility and affection. It shows that the heart can rejoice in the success of others even when one’s own part has ended. This is the spirit of magnanimity — the great-souled virtue the ancients prized above all. Berry’s joy in his friends’ future reflects a soul untainted by envy, one that understands that love, when free of possession, becomes purer and more enduring. To celebrate the art one once helped create, without ownership or pride, is to honor both the self and the friendship that made it possible.

The lesson here, dear listener, is both profound and practical: know when to move on, and do so with grace. Reflection and renewal are not signs of abandonment but of wisdom. In your own life, when a season of work, love, or collaboration comes to its natural close, do not clutch at it in fear. Instead, pause as Berry did — reflect upon what was built, cherish the bonds that remain, and walk forward with gratitude. For the one who leaves in peace leaves behind no void, only blessings.

Let us remember also that friendship endures when ego ends. To celebrate the success of those we once stood beside — that is the truest proof of affection. So be as Bill Berry: loyal without attachment, proud without possessiveness, and grateful without end.

Thus, from a musician’s farewell, we receive a timeless teaching: that endings need not be tragic, and departure need not mean separation. Life moves in cycles — creation, completion, reflection, renewal. And through them all, friendship remains the golden thread that ties the past to the future. To walk away with love in your heart is not to lose, but to live more fully. For in the end, as Berry shows us, the greatest encore is not applause — it is peace.