I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist

The novelist and fierce thinker Brigid Brophy once declared: “I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist on believing that some men are my equals.” These words, edged with wit and defiance, strike at the heart of the relationship between the sexes. Too often, she saw men who demanded authority without responsibility, who wielded pride but lacked maturity, who wished to be obeyed yet behaved as children. To consign men to the nursery would be to treat them as infants, incapable of standing as partners, incapable of true equality. Yet Brophy, with both sharpness and hope, declared her refusal. She would not reduce the world to contempt, nor deny the possibility of partnership. She chose instead to believe that some men could stand as equals beside her.

This declaration was born from the turbulence of the twentieth century, when women were tearing down the walls of tradition that had long imprisoned them. Feminism, fierce and growing, exposed the immaturity of patriarchal power. Many women, wounded by centuries of oppression, turned their disdain into mockery of men. Yet Brophy, even while wielding irony, refused to abandon faith. She would not allow bitterness to erase the possibility of harmony. For to consign all men to childishness would be to forfeit the dream of true companionship—a union of equals, built not upon mockery but upon respect.

History itself offers us a vision of this struggle. Consider the life of Mary Wollstonecraft, the mother of modern feminism. In her famous work A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, she scorned men who preferred women to be weak, docile, and ornamental, yet she also pleaded for men to rise into their nobility, to educate themselves in virtue, to meet women as equals in reason and in love. Like Brophy after her, Wollstonecraft refused to let contempt rule her vision. She believed that men could grow beyond selfishness, that they could join women in the building of a freer world.

Brophy’s words are a challenge both to men and to women. To men, she calls: do not remain in the nursery of selfishness, pride, or irresponsibility. Grow into strength of character, so that you may stand not above women, nor below them, but beside them. To women, she counsels: do not let bitterness devour you. It is easy to dismiss men as hopeless, but equality requires faith in the possibility of their transformation. Without this faith, the dream of balance collapses, and both sexes remain trapped in contempt rather than companionship.

The deeper wisdom is this: equality is not built upon scorn. It is built upon respect. To call men children is to deny them dignity, but to expect them to grow into true partners is to honor the best of what they might become. Brophy’s declaration is both sword and shield: sword, to cut down the pretense of masculine superiority; shield, to protect the vision of harmony between men and women. It is a reminder that feminism is not about reversing oppression, but about abolishing it—lifting both sexes to the higher ground of mutual equality.

The lesson for us is plain: do not accept immaturity, whether in men or in women, as the standard of life. Demand more. Demand dignity, growth, responsibility, and partnership. If you are a man, strive to leave the nursery of pride and rise into maturity where women may truly call you equal. If you are a woman, do not let the failings of some men blind you to the possibility of others who are ready to stand beside you with respect. Equality is not a gift; it is a labor, forged by expectation, faith, and persistence.

Practical wisdom flows from this: seek relationships where equality is real, not imagined. Support men and women alike in the journey toward maturity. Refuse to remain silent when immaturity is excused as “nature” or “tradition.” And above all, keep alive the faith that Brophy expressed—that some men, and indeed many, can rise as equals. For without this faith, cynicism wins; but with it, the dream of harmony between the sexes remains alive, strong, and eternal.

Thus let Brigid Brophy’s words endure: do not consign humanity to the nursery. Insist upon equality, expect maturity, and believe in the possibility of true partnership. For only when men and women stand side by side as equals can the full strength of human destiny unfold.