I take friendship very seriously.

"I take friendship very seriously." With these words, Wole Soyinka imparts a powerful and profound truth about the value and sacredness of friendship. In an age where many things are fleeting and superficial, where loyalty is often tested by convenience and self-interest, Soyinka reminds us that true friendship is not a casual bond, but a serious, meaningful connection that demands commitment, respect, and care. To take friendship seriously is to recognize its potential to shape the course of our lives, to influence our actions, and to offer a source of strength and support in moments of both joy and sorrow.

In the ancient world, friendship was considered one of the highest virtues. Aristotle, in his treatise on ethics, placed friendship at the very heart of a fulfilling life. He distinguished between different types of friendship, but the highest form, the one that lasts and contributes most to personal growth, was based on virtue—a friendship founded not on shared pleasures or mutual advantage, but on a deep respect for each other’s moral character and the mutual desire for goodness. This friendship was not something to be taken lightly, but something to be nurtured, protected, and upheld even when it faced challenges. Soyinka’s declaration of taking friendship seriously reflects this ancient view: a true friend is not a mere acquaintance, but a partner in the pursuit of virtue and personal growth.

Consider the legendary friendship of David and Jonathan in the Bible. Their relationship exemplifies the depth and seriousness with which true friendship should be treated. Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and David, the future king, formed a bond that transcended family obligations, political power, and self-interest. Their friendship was grounded in loyalty, trust, and a shared commitment to the well-being of one another. Even when David’s life was in danger, and Jonathan’s own position as heir to the throne was threatened, they stood by each other, choosing their friendship over the advantages of personal gain or societal expectations. This is the seriousness that Soyinka speaks of: a commitment to something greater than oneself, a friendship that endures in the face of adversity and struggle.

In Soyinka’s own life and work, we see his deep understanding of the importance of friendship. As a Nigerian playwright and activist, Soyinka has navigated the turbulent waters of political unrest, social change, and cultural conflict. Throughout his life, he has found strength not just in his intellect, but in the friendships he has cultivated along the way. These bonds have supported him during times of exile, imprisonment, and political exile, reminding us that friendship can be a lifeline, an anchor that keeps us grounded even in the face of the most challenging circumstances. To Soyinka, friendship is not simply a social connection, but a vital force that shapes our ability to confront the world and make sense of it.

The lesson here is clear: to take friendship seriously is to understand its value and its role in our lives. It is not enough to simply have people around us; we must actively cultivate relationships that are founded on mutual respect, trust, and a shared commitment to the well-being of each other. Friendship is not just about having someone to pass the time with; it is about creating a foundation of support, loyalty, and shared experiences that shape our actions and define who we are. As Soyinka suggests, when we take friendship seriously, we engage in relationships that help us grow, challenge us to be better, and remind us of the greater human connections that transcend the individual.

In our own lives, we must ask ourselves: do we take friendship seriously? Do we nurture the relationships that matter most to us, giving them the time and attention they deserve? Are we loyal, trustworthy, and supportive in the same way we wish our friends to be toward us? Let us be willing to invest in these relationships, not just in moments of ease, but in times of difficulty. Just as David and Jonathan stood by each other through personal turmoil, so too should we strive to be the kind of friend who stands firm, even when the path is uncertain or difficult.

Finally, let us remember that friendship, in all its forms, has the power to transform our lives. When we take friendship seriously, we are not merely passing time with others—we are building a meaningful, enriching connection that can sustain us through life’s trials and triumphs. The bonds of friendship are the threads that weave the tapestry of our human experience. May we honor and cherish the friends we have, and always seek to be the kind of friend who offers loyalty, trust, and support in equal measure. For it is through serious friendship that we become the best versions of ourselves and create a more meaningful, connected world.