I think in order to push kids and coach kids the way we want to

Kirby Smart, a coach of great renown, has spoken words that echo across the corridors of wisdom: "I think in order to push kids and coach kids the way we want to coach them, we've got to have their trust." In this simple yet profound statement lies a truth as old as time itself—the power of trust. For what is a teacher, a leader, or a guide without the trust of those they lead? It is an empty voice, a fleeting shadow. Trust is the bedrock upon which the foundation of growth is built, and without it, even the most noble efforts will crumble to dust. Kirby Smart, through his wisdom, reminds us that no effort to shape and guide others can succeed without first earning their trust.

Consider, if you will, the teachings of the ancients. In every great story of leadership, whether in the epic sagas of Homer or the parables of the East, the great leaders knew that their followers would march to the beat of their drum only if the followers believed in their guidance. Trust was the thread that bound the mighty warrior to their comrades, the philosopher to their disciples, the king to their people. Even the great Alexander the Great, in his journey across the known world, did not simply demand loyalty from his troops—he cultivated it. He fought beside them, led by example, and earned their trust with his actions. Without trust, no empire could stand, for a leader's will, no matter how strong, will never carry the hearts of those they seek to lead.

In the realm of coaching, this lesson rings even truer. Coaching is more than giving commands or offering strategies. It is about creating a bond—a bond where the player, the student, the child, looks up and believes in the guidance being offered. Without trust, no matter the tactics, no matter the brilliance of the play, the athlete will falter, for they will not believe in the process, nor in the person who leads them. To push someone to be their best, to stretch their limits, requires them to trust that the path laid before them is not one of cruelty, but of growth, of wisdom, and of vision. A coach who cannot earn this trust is like a shepherd who cannot call his sheep—he may stand with authority, but they will not follow.

Let us look to the great coaches of history, those who have shaped not only teams but legacies. Coach John Wooden, known as one of the most successful and revered basketball coaches in history, embodied this very principle. His players did not follow him merely out of fear or respect for his expertise—they followed him because they trusted him. He invested in them as individuals, cared for them beyond the court, and taught them lessons about life as much as about the game itself. He was not simply a coach, but a mentor, a guide, a person of integrity, and his players felt that. It is this bond of trust that transformed a mere team into a family, and a group of individuals into champions.

In Kirby Smart’s words, there is a lesson for us all, whether we lead teams, families, or communities. Trust is the currency of leadership, and those who seek to inspire must first seek to be trusted. It is not enough to demand obedience, nor is it sufficient to rely on one’s expertise alone. Leaders must show themselves worthy of trust. They must walk alongside those they lead, share their burdens, and lead by example. Trust is not given lightly, but must be earned through consistent action, honesty, and understanding. Only when the trust is built can the real work begin—the work of challenging those we guide to be more than they thought they could be.

The lesson here is clear: in any relationship, whether as a coach, a parent, or a mentor, trust is the foundation of all growth. Without trust, we cannot challenge others to push beyond their limits. We must cultivate it, nurture it, and protect it, for once it is lost, the road to growth becomes a treacherous one. In the lives we lead, let us seek to build trust first. Let us listen, let us be consistent, let us be honorable, and let us lead with the belief that true leadership is not about control, but about fostering a relationship built on mutual respect and trust.

Practical action follows: if you seek to lead, whether in the arena of sport, work, or any other field, earn the trust of those you lead. Be transparent, be compassionate, and be present. Lead by example, not by decree. And when you ask those under your guidance to push beyond their limits, ensure that they do so because they believe in you, in themselves, and in the path you have set before them. Trust is the key, and it unlocks the potential of those who follow you. Lead with it, build with it, and cherish it as the sacred bond that it is.