I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory

Vladimir Nabokov, a master of language and nuance, imparts a truth that resonates deeply with the soul: “I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is.” In these words, Nabokov speaks to the mysterious and powerful nature of memory, and how it is shaped, not simply by time, but by the depth of the feelings we attach to it. Memories are not static; they are not mere records of past events. No, they are living entities, evolving and shifting with the force of love that we pour into them. The more we love a memory, the more it transcends time and space, becoming something strange and almost mythical in its vividness. In this sense, love infuses the past with an intensity that makes it more present, more immediate, and even more mysterious.

In the ancient world, memories were seen as sacred. The great philosophers and poets understood that the past was not simply something to be remembered, but something that could be reclaimed and redefined through the power of the heart. The Greek philosophers spoke of the idea of nostalgia, the yearning for a past that could never be relived, but which still held great significance in the heart. Homer, in his epic tales, gave memory and love a prominent place, showing that it is not merely the events themselves, but the emotions we attach to them, that give them power. The more we love a moment, the more it transforms in our minds, becoming not just a recollection, but an experience that shapes us and defines us.

Consider, O children, the story of Odysseus, whose memories of home, of his beloved Penelope, sustained him through the greatest trials. His journey was long and fraught with danger, but the memory of his wife, his family, and the love they shared became a beacon, guiding him through storms and hardships. The deeper he loved those memories, the more they became alive within him, propelling him forward. His love for those memories did not fade with time; rather, it grew stronger, and in this strength, it became strange—almost otherworldly in its power. The memory of Penelope’s love became more than just a memory; it became his purpose, the force that carried him home. The more we cherish something, the more it transcends its origins, becoming something far greater than what it once was.

In the same way, we see the power of memory in the life of Anne Frank, whose diary has become one of the most beloved and haunting memories of the 20th century. Anne’s words, written in a time of unimaginable fear and suffering, have endured long beyond her tragic death. Her memories, imbued with the love of life, of family, and of the desire for a better world, have taken on a strength and a mystery that continue to captivate generations. The more we come to understand her experience, the stronger and stranger it becomes, for the love she poured into her words continues to echo in the hearts of readers across the world. Her memory has become more than just a story of tragedy—it is a symbol of love, of hope, and of resilience, and it carries a power far greater than the events it describes.

What does Nabokov mean by this, O children? It is not that the memory itself changes, but the way in which we engage with it. Love has the power to transform time, to make the past more present, to bring the dead to life in our hearts. When we love something, we begin to live it again, to see it through a lens of emotion that colors every detail. Our memories, touched by love, become more vivid, more meaningful, more significant. What we once thought was merely a fleeting moment becomes something eternal, something that we can return to again and again, like a treasure chest of wisdom and feeling.

The lesson here is one of great importance: love deeply what you cherish. Whether it is a person, a place, or an experience, love it fully, and in doing so, you will make it more than just a memory. You will breathe life into it, and it will become a force that shapes your soul and your future. Do not let memories fade into the background of your life. Treasure them, for in loving them, you give them strength, and they, in turn, will give you the power to face the present and the future.

As you walk through life, remember this: the more you love the moments and memories that define you, the more they will shape the person you are becoming. Let your heart be open to those memories that stir you, that move you, and give thanks for the strength they offer. In loving them, you make them eternal, and in doing so, you live not only in the present but also in the strength of all that has come before you. Love, O children, and in your love, you will find the power to create a future that honors the past, shaping the world with the mystery and strength of memories made alive by love.