I think parenting is very different now. We're totally governed

Hear the voice of Andy Serkis, spoken with both humor and weight: “I think parenting is very different now. We’re totally governed by our children!” In these words lies a reflection of an age transformed, where the authority once held by parents has softened, and the desires of children now shape the rhythms of the household. It is no lament for discipline lost, nor mere complaint of indulgence—it is an observation of a shift in the ancient order of family, where once the father’s word or the mother’s decree was final. Now, the balance tilts, and parents often bend to the will of their offspring, shaping their lives around the young rather than commanding the young to fit into the life already there.

In times past, parenting was marked by rigor and unquestioned authority. The rod of discipline and the sternness of duty were often the chief tools. Children ate what they were given, worked as they were told, and dared not raise their voices against the elders. Yet Serkis reminds us that in the present age, the pendulum has swung. Parents no longer command as generals in their homes but serve as attendants, chauffeurs, companions, and planners of a thousand entertainments. The governance has shifted from parent to child, and though this may seem strange to older generations, it reveals something profound about how love and authority now intertwine.

To be “governed by our children” is to acknowledge the deep influence they wield. Their needs, their moods, their desires, dictate not only meals and schedules, but even the emotional climate of the household. A crying child can halt conversations, delay journeys, even shatter peace. A joyful child can lift hearts, turn quarrels to laughter, and bind parents closer. Children have always held this power, but today’s culture, with its emphasis on sensitivity, emotional intelligence, and individuality, grants them greater voice than ever before. What was once suppressed is now honored, sometimes to the point where parents reshape their very existence around the sovereignty of their young.

History offers us an instructive mirror in the reign of Cleopatra, who, though queen of Egypt, was often swayed by the demands and expectations of her people, adjusting her rule to maintain their favor. Power, even when held in name, can be guided by the governed. So too in families: though parents remain the ultimate rulers in theory, they often find themselves negotiating, adjusting, even surrendering to the insistence of their children. Serkis’s words are not mockery but truth—families are living kingdoms, and in this age, the crown rests lightly upon the parent, heavily upon the child’s whims.

Yet this shift is not wholly perilous. To be responsive is not to be weak. To be guided by children is not to be enslaved, but to recognize that authority must bend if it is to endure. The wisdom lies in balance: indulgence without limits leads to chaos, but authority without gentleness breeds resentment. The new parenting Serkis names is an experiment in this balance, a struggle to honor the child’s humanity without losing the structure that keeps them safe. In truth, this struggle is as ancient as humanity itself; only its forms have changed.

The lesson, then, is this: parents must neither rule as tyrants nor serve as slaves. Let the governance of children be acknowledged, but let it not be absolute. Parents must guide, even while listening; must set limits, even while nurturing; must remain leaders, even as they adapt. For the household is not a battlefield of wills, but a partnership of love, where each member shapes the other. Children learn resilience through gentle boundaries, and parents learn humility through patience.

Therefore, let all who hear these words take heart: to be governed by children is not shameful, but it must be tempered with wisdom. Give your child a voice, but keep your hand steady on the helm. Honor their joy, but teach them endurance. Share in their dreams, but prepare them for the world beyond the home. In this way, parenting will not be tyranny nor surrender, but a dance of love and guidance.

Thus Andy Serkis’s words, light on the tongue but heavy in meaning, reveal a truth of our age: that in the shifting tide of parenting, authority is no longer one-sided. And if we embrace this with courage, we may find that in being governed by our children, we are also being guided into deeper compassion, patience, and wisdom.