I think the most romantic thing you can do is just turn up. Turn

"I think the most romantic thing you can do is just turn up. Turn up when it's difficult for you. Travel halfway around the world or just up the road. Whatever it is, just be there." – James McAvoy. In these words, McAvoy distills the essence of romance into its simplest and most profound form: presence. The act of showing up, of being physically and emotionally there for someone when it matters most, is the true heart of romantic devotion. In a world full of fleeting gestures and superficial expressions of love, McAvoy suggests that the most meaningful form of affection is the willingness to be present—whether in moments of joy or hardship, no matter the distance or difficulty. It is not the grand declarations or the romantic gifts that endure, but the steadfast commitment to show up when life tests our relationships.

In the ancient world, the idea of showing up when needed was often intertwined with the very concept of honor and duty. The Greek hero Achilles, though a fierce warrior driven by pride and honor, also understood that true loyalty required more than just skill in battle. His friendship with Patroclus was a testament to this idea—Achilles’s grief at Patroclus’s death reveals not just the intensity of love, but the depth of commitment between them. Achilles's ultimate choice to fight in the war, despite his personal grievances, was driven by his sense of duty to those he loved. In this sense, romance in the ancient world was not solely about passion; it was about a loyalty and presence that transcended personal convenience or comfort.

The notion of turning up also echoes the ancient understanding of fate and destiny. The Roman poet Virgil in his Aeneid presents the hero Aeneas as someone who, time and time again, sacrifices his own desires for the greater good—fighting to establish a future for his people. Aeneas’s loyalty to his people and his sense of duty were greater than his personal romantic desires, yet there was always an undertone of deep affection, especially for Dido, the queen of Carthage. The essence of Aeneas's character lies in his willingness to show up, to be present in the most critical moments, regardless of the emotional cost. Similarly, McAvoy’s statement taps into the unwavering commitment to being present, no matter the personal sacrifices involved.

Consider the life of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, who often found himself in battle and in moments of immense personal hardship. Despite his regal position, Marcus Aurelius valued virtue, wisdom, and duty above all else, often writing in his journals about the importance of showing up in difficult situations. For him, the ability to turn up—whether in times of personal pain or while overseeing the immense responsibilities of an empire—was a romantic ideal of sorts. It was the love of duty and the commitment to a higher cause that gave his actions their deepest meaning. His understanding of presence, whether in the face of conflict or calm, was a key component of his enduring legacy.

The lesson we can draw from McAvoy’s words is that romantic love is not simply about grand gestures, fleeting moments, or physical presence, but about steadfastness. True romance lies in the commitment to show up when it’s hardest, to stand by someone when they need you the most. It is the act of showing up that strengthens relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, and builds a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Romance, in this sense, is about a silent, enduring presence, a promise that even in the face of hardship or distance, love will remain constant.

In our own lives, we must strive to be present for those we love, especially during difficult times. Physical distance or personal challenges should not deter us from showing up for others; instead, we must view these challenges as opportunities to demonstrate the depth of our commitment. Whether supporting a partner through a personal struggle or simply being there for a friend, the act of showing up—no matter the sacrifice—is the true essence of romantic devotion. It is not in the words or gestures alone but in the quiet assurance that, regardless of the situation, you will always be there, offering your presence and support.

Thus, let us embrace McAvoy’s view of romantic love as a steadfast commitment to presence. Let us recognize that true romance is found not in the occasional grand gesture but in the consistent presence we offer each other, day after day, through life’s joys and hardships. By embodying this steadfastness, we create bonds that are not only strong but also enduring, for they are built on the unwavering belief that love is not just an emotion but a constant act of showing up. Let this be the foundation of our relationships, as we seek to turn up—not just when it is easy, but when it matters most.