I think they should create a holiday for friends-with-benefits

"I think they should create a holiday for friends-with-benefits relationships. Because I feel like Valentine's Day is, maybe it's a day to stay home and cry." These words, spoken by Elizabeth Meriwether, tap into the complex emotions that many experience in the realm of modern relationships, particularly those that are less conventional or less emotionally committed, such as friends-with-benefits. Meriwether’s humorous and insightful observation about Valentine's Day draws attention to the fact that not all romantic connections are characterized by the same depth or expectations of love. Valentine's Day, traditionally a celebration of romantic love, can often feel exclusionary or even painful for those who find themselves in more casual, non-committal relationships.

In the ancient world, love and relationships were viewed through a more flexible lens, with different types of bonds being acknowledged and respected. The Greeks distinguished between multiple kinds of love: eros (romantic love), philia (friendship), and agape (unconditional love). The Romans, likewise, understood that not all relationships were bound by romantic commitment. In Rome, amor could encompass a wide range of affection, from the deep connection of marriage to the more transient pleasures of the concubinate. Meriwether’s call for a holiday specifically celebrating the friends-with-benefits relationship mirrors these ancient understandings: love, affection, and companionship need not always conform to the traditional ideals of marriage or romantic union.

However, unlike the ancient Greeks and Romans, who accepted a diverse range of relationships as legitimate, modern society often places pressure on romantic relationships to fit a singular mold. The commercialization of Valentine's Day, which glorifies exclusive, romantic love, can be isolating for those whose relationships do not align with these ideals. For someone in a casual or non-committed relationship, Valentine’s Day may serve as a painful reminder of the expectations placed on love, leading to feelings of alienation or loneliness. This is where Meriwether’s sentiment resonates deeply. She suggests that those who do not fit into the traditional mold of romantic love might feel compelled to stay home, disappointed or disconnected, rather than embracing a holiday designed to celebrate affection and connection.

Consider, for example, the story of Julius Caesar and his mistress, Servilia Caepionis. Although their relationship was not based on the ideals of marriage or romantic commitment, it was still one of profound connection and influence. Caesar, a political and military genius, shared a bond with Servilia that went beyond mere physical attraction. Their relationship was shaped by mutual respect, desire, and strategic alliance. This reflects a truth that has existed since the ancient world: not all relationships, even those that involve physical intimacy, need to conform to societal or religious expectations of love. Caesar and Servilia’s connection, much like modern friends-with-benefits relationships, was based on an understanding of affection that was fluid, practical, and not bound by the conventional structures of romantic love.

The lesson here is powerful: love, in all its forms, should be acknowledged and celebrated. Meriwether's suggestion for a holiday specifically recognizing friends-with-benefits relationships highlights the need for society to embrace the full spectrum of human connections, acknowledging that not all relationships are defined by marriage or long-term commitment. Valentine's Day, while a celebration of romantic love, can be a difficult reminder for those who are in less conventional relationships. But rather than feeling isolated or compelled to conform to a particular standard of love, we must recognize the value in all relationships, whether they are casual or committed, transitory or long-lasting.

In our modern world, we must learn to honor all forms of affection and companionship. Whether romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between, each relationship carries its own unique value and purpose. Meriwether’s words encourage us to embrace the idea that love is not a one-size-fits-all concept but a diverse, evolving experience. For those who find themselves in relationships that may not align with the traditional expectations of romantic love, it is important to remember that these connections are still meaningful. Rather than allowing society’s expectations or the pressures of a holiday like Valentine’s Day to make you feel disconnected, celebrate the relationships that bring you joy, companionship, and affection, regardless of their form.

In your own life, seek to cultivate authentic connections—whether with a partner, a friend, or someone in a more casual relationship. Recognize that every bond has value and meaning, regardless of how it fits into society’s traditional frameworks of love. If Valentine’s Day brings discomfort or a sense of disconnection, consider creating your own celebration, one that acknowledges and honors the relationships you cherish. Whether you spend the day alone, with friends, or with someone who doesn’t fit the typical romantic mold, let it be a day of celebration for the love you already have in your life, in whatever form it takes.