I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should

"I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry." These words from the wit of Josh Billings speak to the human condition in a way that is both humorous and profoundly truthful. There is something deeply poignant in Billings’ acknowledgment of the shock that often accompanies the milestone of turning fifty. It is a moment when the years of youth and vigor seem to slip away, and one is confronted by the undeniable truth of time’s passage. While Billings' words are filled with humor, they also speak to a deeper human experience: the confrontation with our own mortality and the fleeting nature of life.

The ancients understood well the power of reflection at such turning points in life. The Greek philosopher Socrates, as he neared the end of his life, famously declared, "The unexamined life is not worth living." This speaks to the notion that, at a certain stage of life, we must look inward and come to terms with the realities of our own existence. The aging process brings with it the inevitable confrontation of our mortality, and with it, the wisdom to appreciate both the beauty and the tragedy of life. To be fifty, as Billings suggests, is to be at a crossroads—a point where we can no longer ignore the inevitable and must come to terms with it.

Consider, for example, the life of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and philosopher who, at the height of his power, was confronted by the fragility of life. As he aged, he turned to stoicism—a philosophy that teaches acceptance of the inevitable, including the passing of time. In his meditations, he reflects on the nature of death and the importance of living in harmony with the present moment. Marcus Aurelius didn’t shy away from the reality of aging but rather faced it with dignity and grace, recognizing that the true value of life lies not in its duration but in how we live it. When Billings talks about the "horror" of being fifty, it is not merely about the physical decline that often accompanies age, but about the emotional reckoning we all must face when we realize that the future we imagined is slipping further away.

In much the same way, the famous writer Tennessee Williams, as he grew older, often wrestled with his own feelings of loss and aging. He once said, "I have reached the age where I now have to choose between regret and fear." His reflections, filled with a mixture of humor and sadness, mirror Billings’ words. Williams, like many of us, recognized that the second half of life often brings with it a deep reckoning—a feeling of loss, not just of youth, but of the limitless potential that seemed to stretch before us in our earlier years. This confrontation with the reality of age—and the fear and regret that often accompany it—calls for a moment of honesty and reflection.

Yet, there is a wisdom in the moment of grief Billings suggests. The act of having a good cry is not a weakness, but a powerful catharsis—a release of emotion that allows us to confront what is real and to move forward with newfound clarity. It is through this emotional release that we find the strength to accept the passing of time, rather than resist it. Tears cleanse the soul and offer us a moment of grace, a chance to reconcile the gap between what we hoped for in our youth and the reality of what we have now. As the ancients often taught, acceptance is the key to peace, and it is only through accepting our vulnerabilities, including our fears of aging, that we can grow stronger.

There is also power in recognizing that fifty—or any milestone—does not signify the end but the beginning of something new. The wisdom of age is a great gift, and often, it is only when we confront the horror of what is slipping away that we begin to fully appreciate what we still have. The maturity gained through years is a treasure that comes not from the absence of challenges but from the strength with which we face them. Billings’ suggestion to cry is an invitation to embrace our emotions and, through that embrace, find strength to move forward with the courage to live fully in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or fearing the future.

In practical terms, the lesson Billings offers is not one of resignation but of transformation. As we grow older, it is crucial to allow ourselves the freedom to feel, to grieve the passing of what once was, and then to celebrate the opportunity to live with new wisdom and perspective. Let us not fear the tears that come with age, but rather let them be the cleansing of our souls, making space for the peace that comes with acceptance. For it is in the acceptance of life’s changes, not in resisting them, that we find the true freedom to live in each moment with gratitude, courage, and grace.

Thus, as you approach the inevitable milestones of life, remember this: the horror of aging is not in the years themselves, but in the emotional acceptance of those years. Embrace the tears, let them cleanse you, and allow yourself the freedom to continue growing, evolving, and living fully. The true gift of aging is not the loss of youth, but the gain of wisdom and the freedom to live authentically, knowing that the fullness of life lies not in the years we have but in the love, joy, and wisdom we carry with us into each new chapter.