I treat my wife very differently than I treat my chums and my

"I treat my wife very differently than I treat my chums and my pals. I wouldn't worry about calling them on Valentine's Day, opening the door for them, or making sure they were OK." These words, spoken by Mike Huckabee, reflect a deep truth about the nature of love, commitment, and the relationships we choose to nurture in our lives. Huckabee’s distinction between the way he treats his wife and his friends offers insight into the sacred and unique bond that exists between a husband and a wife, one that is not defined by casual gestures or fleeting interactions but by intentional care, respect, and responsibility. This kind of love is built on a foundation that transcends the easy connections shared with friends, demanding a deeper, more enduring commitment.

In the ancient world, relationships were often defined by their purpose and depth. The Greeks, for example, distinguished between various forms of love—eros (romantic love), philia (friendship), and agape (unconditional love). These forms of affection were not interchangeable, nor were they treated equally. Eros, the love between lovers, was regarded as one of the most sacred and profound connections, one that required devotion and nurturing. In contrast, philia, though deeply valued, was often seen as a love rooted in companionship and mutual respect, without the same intense expectation or commitment required of romantic love. The ancients understood that the relationship between a husband and wife was not simply about shared companionship but about building a life together, filled with mutual care and sacrifice.

Huckabee’s reflection mirrors this ancient understanding. His actions toward his wife are based on the recognition that romantic love is more than just a bond between two people who enjoy each other's company; it is a relationship that demands sacrifice, attention, and a willingness to put the other person’s needs above all else. He makes a clear distinction between the way he treats his wife—with thoughtfulness and care—and the way he treats his friends, who do not require the same level of devotion or responsibility. Just as the ancient Greeks understood that eros demands something different from philia, Huckabee recognizes that marriage requires a commitment that extends beyond the gestures shared with casual companions.

The Romans, too, understood the deep connection that should exist between husband and wife. The marriage bond in Roman culture was seen as a contract that demanded loyalty and care, not just for the practical needs of daily life, but for the emotional and spiritual support of one’s partner. Julius Caesar, though often remembered for his military might, is also known for the deep connection he shared with his wife, Calpurnia. While his life was filled with political intrigue and military conquest, he never neglected his commitment to his marriage. His respect for his wife was not a matter of public display, but of personal loyalty and care. His example reflects the idea that a true partnership—whether in politics or love—is founded on responsibility and a willingness to prioritize the relationship above others.

Huckabee’s statement also points to a broader truth about love: that it is a force that requires intentionality. It is easy to get caught up in the casual connections we have with friends and acquaintances, yet true love—especially the love between a husband and wife—demands attention and nurturing. This is a love that must be fed and tended to constantly. It is not enough to simply rely on the good times or the easy moments; true love is tested by the willingness to show up, to support, and to care even in moments of difficulty. Valentine’s Day, for instance, may be a day to honor romantic love, but true love requires consistent gestures of kindness, thoughtfulness, and care throughout the year.

The lesson Huckabee imparts is clear: romantic love requires a commitment that goes beyond the casual or superficial. It is a bond that demands deep respect, sacrifice, and responsibility. This is not something that can be expressed in fleeting gestures or trivial acts; it is something that must be woven into the fabric of daily life. The love between a husband and wife must be nurtured through intentional acts—whether it is opening the door, offering words of encouragement, or simply taking the time to ensure that the other person is well. These actions, though small, demonstrate the deep commitment that forms the heart of a lasting relationship.

In your own life, ask yourself: Are you showing up for the ones you love with intentionality and care? Love is not something that can be taken for granted, nor is it a passive force that simply exists on special occasions. It requires action and commitment, whether in the quiet moments of daily life or on significant occasions like Valentine’s Day. Let Huckabee’s reflection serve as a reminder that love, especially the love between a husband and wife, is not about grand gestures or moments of fleeting passion, but about consistent care, responsibility, and a deep, unshakable commitment to the other person’s well-being. In doing so, you will build a foundation of love that stands the test of time, one that is rooted not in superficiality, but in true partnership.