I was also dating someone from UCLA and also I had another

When Barbi Benton said, “I was also dating someone from UCLA and also I had another suitor, Jimmy Caan. So it was between my college boyfriend, Jimmy Caan and Hef. And Hef won. Within a few months, we were exclusive,” she spoke not merely of romance, but of the timeless crossroads where choice, desire, and destiny meet. Beneath the surface of her casual recollection lies a universal truth—the truth that love, in all its glittering uncertainty, often demands a decision between comfort and adventure, between the known and the unknown. Her words are more than memory; they are a reflection of the eternal dance between heart and fate, where every choice leads to transformation.

The origin of her quote comes from a moment in her youth when life offered her more than one path of affection. Barbi Benton, then a rising star, found herself courted by men of promise—one a college sweetheart, representing the simplicity of youth and familiarity; another, the charismatic actor James Caan, embodying ambition and fame; and finally, Hugh Hefner, a man whose world shimmered with wealth, mystery, and influence. When she says, “Hef won,” it is not only a personal confession—it is the voice of countless souls who have stood at the gates of choice, drawn by the pull of possibility. She chose not the safe harbor, but the tempest—the life that promised not ease, but adventure.

In this, Benton’s story mirrors that of Helen of Troy, the woman whose choice altered the course of kingdoms. Helen, too, stood between the steady life of duty and the burning call of passion. Her decision to follow Paris, though it led to tragedy, became legend—a tale retold through ages, not for its folly, but for its intensity. Likewise, Benton’s decision, while far gentler in consequence, speaks of the same human impulse to follow the magnetic pull of what feels destined, even when the outcome is uncertain. To choose love, or the promise of it, is to risk everything—for the heart recognizes no logic, only longing.

Her words also reveal a deep understanding of the power of timing. “Within a few months, we were exclusive,” she says—an acknowledgment that love, once chosen, demands commitment. The ancients often spoke of the kairos, the sacred moment when one must act decisively, for hesitation turns destiny to dust. Benton’s story reminds us that in life, one cannot linger at the crossroads forever. When the heart has chosen, one must walk boldly into that choice, for only through commitment does experience yield wisdom. Whether the path leads to joy or heartbreak, both are teachers of the soul.

Yet, there is tenderness in her reflection—a recognition that youth’s choices are rarely perfect, but always sincere. Many of us, like her, have stood in that tender space between multiple affections, feeling both the sweetness and the weight of decision. To choose is to lose one path forever, but it is also to honor one’s own journey. Benton’s memory is not one of regret, but of acceptance. Her words carry the echo of self-awareness, the understanding that love’s outcomes matter less than the courage to love at all.

From her experience, we draw a timeless lesson: that life often tests us not by denying us options, but by offering us too many. The challenge is not in finding love, but in discerning which connection aligns with our truest self. The heart must listen carefully—not to the loudest call, but to the one that whispers peace amidst the noise. Whether we choose the comfort of the familiar or the allure of the extraordinary, the key is to choose consciously, not from fear or vanity, but from the quiet certainty of our own spirit.

So let Barbi Benton’s words remind future generations: love is not merely something we stumble into—it is something we must shape with courage and clarity. To love is to decide, to decide is to commit, and to commit is to learn the deeper meaning of devotion. Do not fear the crossroads of affection, for they are the forges of wisdom. Whether you choose the steady flame or the dazzling fire, walk your path fully. For as the ancients taught, the heart that dares to choose its own destiny—without hesitation, without regret—has already lived a life of truth and passion.