I will not even tell my daughter to get married if she does not

When Neeru Bajwa said, “I will not even tell my daughter to get married if she does not find her life partner. I would rather push her for education and financial independence,” she spoke with the fierce tenderness of a mother and the wisdom of a woman who has known both love and struggle. Her words are not only a declaration of belief but a revolution in thought — a defiance of centuries-old traditions that measured a woman’s worth by her marriage rather than her mind. In her voice is the echo of every mother who has dared to break the pattern, who has chosen to gift her daughter wings instead of chains.

The origin of this quote lies in Bajwa’s own journey — a life shaped by ambition, resilience, and the will to stand tall in a world that often told women to be small. As one of India’s most admired actresses, she rose from humble beginnings to build a career through perseverance and self-belief. In the patriarchal context of South Asian culture, where marriage is often considered the pinnacle of a woman’s destiny, Bajwa’s statement is both personal and political. She asserts that education and financial independence are not merely alternatives to marriage but the very foundations of freedom and dignity. Her words carry the quiet fire of experience — the wisdom of a woman who has walked the path she now hopes her daughter will walk more freely.

Bajwa’s declaration belongs to a lineage of voices who have challenged the old order. It calls to mind the courage of Savitribai Phule, who opened India’s first school for girls in the nineteenth century and was pelted with stones for her defiance. It resonates with the vision of Malala Yousafzai, who faced bullets for the belief that girls deserve to learn. And beyond India, it finds kinship with Mary Wollstonecraft, who in the eighteenth century wrote that women should not be taught “to please, but to think.” In every age, such women have understood that without education and independence, love itself becomes a prison — for love is meaningful only when it is chosen, not required.

To push one’s daughter toward independence, as Bajwa urges, is to teach her self-respect before romance. It is to remind her that a true partnership is built not on need but on equality. In the ancient world, the philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria was both scholar and teacher, and men traveled across empires to learn from her wisdom. She never married, not because she rejected love, but because she refused to compromise her intellect. In the same spirit, Bajwa tells her daughter: seek love if it comes, but never let it cost your freedom. For a woman who depends on no one stands as high as any king, and her voice cannot be silenced by circumstance.

Yet Bajwa’s quote is not an attack on marriage; it is a call for choice. It recognizes that marriage, when freely chosen and founded on equality, can be a blessing — but when forced or seen as a woman’s only destiny, it becomes bondage. She envisions a generation of daughters who marry not because they must, but because they wish to — who stand beside their partners, not beneath them. Her words are a reminder that love without freedom is submission, and freedom without love is stillness — but when the two meet, the result is harmony.

Her message also challenges parents, especially in traditional societies, to reconsider their legacy. To “push for education and financial independence” is to plant the seeds of true empowerment — to raise daughters who can build, think, decide, and lead. Such a daughter carries within her the power to transform the future, for every educated woman uplifts not just herself but her entire lineage. Bajwa’s wisdom, therefore, extends beyond her own child — it is a blueprint for generations of mothers who wish to see their daughters not as brides to be given away, but as individuals to be unleashed into the world.

So, my children of tomorrow, remember this truth: the greatest gift a parent can give a daughter is freedom — not protection, not wealth, not marriage, but the means to stand on her own feet. Let her heart seek love if it desires, but let her mind and hands always be her foundation. For in every age, the measure of progress is not how many women are married, but how many are free. And as Bajwa’s words remind us, when a mother teaches her daughter independence, she does not merely raise a child — she raises the future.