I'd hesitated to have a wedding because my gay and lesbian

In this deeply compassionate reflection, Kathy Najimy speaks of the moral conflict that weighed upon her heart when she considered having a wedding. For many, a wedding is a joyous act of love and union, a moment to celebrate freely. Yet for Kathy, the decision was shadowed by the injustice faced by her gay and lesbian friends, who, at the time, were denied the same right to marry. Her hesitation was not born of doubt in her own love, but of solidarity with those whose love was not recognized by law or tradition. This is the voice of a heart unwilling to rejoice while others suffer exclusion.

Her words reveal a profound truth about privilege and empathy. To have a right denied to others is to stand in a position of power, even when that power is unasked for. By hesitating, Kathy chose to confront the unfairness of a system where some may stand proudly before their community, while others are forced to hide in the shadows. This act of reflection elevates her wedding from a personal event to a political and ethical decision, a recognition that marriage is not merely private, but deeply tied to the structures of society.

History offers many echoes of this struggle. In ancient Rome, unions between classes or faiths were often forbidden, and love itself was divided by law. Similarly, in the modern era, interracial marriage was once illegal in many parts of the world. The landmark case of Loving v. Virginia in 1967, where Richard and Mildred Loving fought for the right to marry across racial lines, mirrors the same spirit of injustice Kathy speaks of. Their victory opened doors for countless others, proving that the laws of men can, in time, be rewritten by courage and perseverance.

Kathy’s choice to pause before her wedding reflects a warrior’s heart — not in battle with swords, but with conscience and compassion. By questioning whether she should celebrate while others could not, she honored the pain of her friends and amplified their struggle through her own actions. Her words remind us that even joyous moments carry responsibility, and that true love does not exist in isolation but is woven into the collective fabric of human dignity.

Thus, her reflection becomes a call to future generations: do not celebrate blindly while others are denied the same joy. Fight for a world where every union, regardless of gender or orientation, is honored equally. A wedding should be a symbol of universal love, not a privilege for the few. When the day comes that all may stand together beneath the same sky, joined in equality and freedom, then every celebration will shine with unshadowed joy — a testament to the triumph of justice and the enduring power of love.