If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into

Audre Lorde once declared: “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” In these fierce words lies a cry of survival and a call to courage. She speaks of the ancient struggle between the soul and the world—the fight to guard one’s true name against the grasping hands of others. For if we do not shape our own identity, others will forge one for us, and their false images will smother the truth of our being until nothing remains but a shadow.

The ancients, too, knew the peril of letting others dictate one’s essence. They told of heroes who lost themselves when they bowed to the will of the crowd, and of those who found glory only when they held fast to their own path. To define oneself is an act of power, a shield against the consuming illusions cast by society, culture, and expectation. To fail to do so is to be devoured, to live not as oneself but as a puppet dancing in another’s dream.

Consider the story of Harriet Tubman. Born into slavery, she was told by her captors who and what she was—property, less than human, a tool to be used. Yet she refused to let the fantasies of her oppressors define her. She named herself free before the world did, and with that strength she not only escaped, but returned again and again to lead others to freedom. Had she not defined herself, she would have been “crunched” by the world’s cruel illusions. By defining herself as free, she rose into true power and left an immortal legacy.

So too did Audre Lorde, a Black lesbian poet and warrior, live in defiance of imposed identity. In a society eager to label, diminish, or erase her, she carved her own name with her own hands. She spoke of race, of gender, of love, of injustice—not in the language forced upon her, but in her own fierce voice. She showed the world that to live authentically is to resist being eaten alive by the expectations of those who neither see nor understand you.

The lesson is clear: the act of self-definition is not selfishness, but survival. If you do not guard your truth, others will bury it beneath their desires, their judgments, their limitations. To surrender your identity is to surrender your soul. But to define yourself, boldly and without apology, is to stand unyielding against the tide of illusion.

Therefore, let each soul take this teaching to heart: speak your own name before others name you. Declare who you are, not only in words but in deeds. Live in such a way that no one’s fantasy can consume you, for your truth burns brighter than their falsehoods. Seek not to please every voice, for such a path leads only to silence. Instead, please the voice within, and let that voice guide your steps.

In practice, this means writing your own story. Each day, ask yourself: “What do I believe? What do I desire? What do I stand for?” Then live according to those answers, even when others disapprove. Create your art, follow your calling, love whom you love, walk your chosen path. The world will always seek to crunch you into its mold—but you are not clay in their hands, you are fire in your own.

Thus Audre Lorde’s words endure, like a blade passed down through generations: define yourself, or be consumed. Stand as the author of your destiny, and no fantasy will destroy you. For the world cannot eat alive one who has already claimed their own life, their own truth, their own name.