If one could be friendly with women, what a pleasure - the
If one could be friendly with women, what a pleasure - the relationship so secret and private compared with relations with men. Why not write about it truthfully?
The words of Virginia Woolf—“If one could be friendly with women, what a pleasure—the relationship so secret and private compared with relations with men. Why not write about it truthfully?”—echo with the tender weight of longing and revelation. They remind us that bonds between women carry a depth unmeasured by the public world, a sanctuary hidden from the noise of society, and that to give voice to such a bond is an act of both intimacy and courage.
The ancients too spoke of such mysteries. They told of women who wove together in their chambers, who sang songs to one another, who carried secrets that no man would hear. These were relationships of profound power—quiet, unseen, but shaping lives with a strength the outside world could scarcely imagine. Woolf calls us to honor this realm of the private, to lift it from silence into truth, and to recognize the richness of its pleasures.
Her words also reveal defiance. For in her age, as in many before, the voices of women were dismissed, their bonds overlooked, their friendships dismissed as trivial. To write truthfully of these connections was to resist the weight of a world that celebrated only what men declared worthy. By declaring the relationship between women as a unique and sacred joy, Woolf sought to inscribe into literature what had long been hidden.
This is also heroic wisdom, for it reminds us that truth must be spoken even when it disrupts the silence imposed by custom. The friendship of women, the shared laughter, the whispered confidences, the unseen strength of their alliances—these are no less noble than the alliances of kings or the councils of men. To deny their telling is to deny half of humanity’s story.
So let this teaching endure: the relationship between women is not lesser, but different—more secret, more tender, more profound in its privacy. To speak of it truthfully is not only to honor women but to restore balance to the human tale. For as the ancients knew, and Woolf reminds us, truth is not complete until every hidden bond, every unspoken joy, is given its rightful place in the story of the world.
TDHO THI DIEP
Woolf’s notion of the closeness and privacy of relationships between women offers a unique perspective on intimacy. It makes me wonder why these relationships are often seen as more 'secret' than those between men—what does this say about how society views female bonds? Is there something inherently more vulnerable or raw about female relationships that makes them less visible in mainstream culture? Woolf’s push to write about these connections truthfully could help break down the barriers that keep them hidden.
BNBao Ngoc
Woolf’s comment about the 'secret and private' nature of relationships between women speaks to the complexity and depth of female friendships, which often go unnoticed or underappreciated. I’m curious, though—do we still view women’s relationships in this way today? How much of this 'secrecy' is rooted in historical constraints on women’s autonomy, and how much is tied to personal dynamics that are less public than those between men? What role does literature play in illuminating these unique connections?
DLThi Dinh Le
Virginia Woolf’s idea of a 'secret and private' relationship between women is an interesting lens through which to view female friendships. It raises the question: why have women’s relationships often been framed in terms of secrecy? Is it because they were not allowed to exist openly in the public sphere? Woolf’s challenge to write about it truthfully speaks to the need for authenticity in how we understand and portray women’s bonds. What would it mean for literature and society to fully embrace this truth?
PTNguyen Phuong Thao
I find Woolf’s quote fascinating because it highlights the nuanced and sometimes hidden dynamics of relationships between women. The idea of these relationships being 'secret' makes me wonder—do women feel more freedom in their interactions with each other, compared to men, because they are less scrutinized by society? Woolf’s call for truthfully writing about these relationships could also be an invitation to explore these connections in a more open and honest way. Why do we shy away from portraying them fully?
PDDao Phi Dung
Woolf’s reflection on the nature of relationships between women raises a thought-provoking question about the way we view intimacy. Why is it that women’s relationships have historically been considered more private and secretive? Could this be a product of societal norms and expectations, or is there something unique about the way women interact that makes these connections feel more personal? And why does Woolf advocate for writing about it truthfully—what would be the benefits of such honest portrayal?