If some people try to make a prenup into a pre-negotiation of a

Hear the words of Laura Wasser, spoken with both realism and lament: “If some people try to make a prenup into a pre-negotiation of a divorce… well, that’s really sad. But I do think that it’s important to understand what each person has coming into the relationship, and what each person expects from the relationship. They aren’t always fun discussions to have, and they can be very eye-opening.” Within these words lies not only counsel for marriage, but an ancient truth: that the foundation of any bond must be built upon clarity, honesty, and understanding, lest it collapse beneath unspoken fears and unacknowledged desires.

For the ancients, unions were not merely private matters but sacred covenants, binding families, tribes, and even kingdoms. They knew that a relationship without truth was like a house built on shifting sand. Wasser’s lament is that some view the prenup—a practical safeguard—as a surrender to cynicism, as if to speak of division is to invite it. This, she calls sad, for it reveals fear where there should be trust. And yet, she does not shrink from the hard truth: to enter a union without knowledge of one another’s expectations is folly, and clarity, however uncomfortable, is wiser than blind hope.

History gives us stories that echo her teaching. Consider the marriage alliances of medieval Europe, where kings and queens bound their nations by vows. When expectations of dowry, land, or loyalty were not made clear, disputes erupted, often leading to betrayal and war. A union unprepared for by honesty became a union doomed to conflict. The wise rulers, however, set forth their terms clearly, ensuring both sides knew what was to be given and what was to be received. Thus, even in matters of love, preparation was seen as the guardian of peace.

But Wasser reminds us of the paradox: that though such conversations are not joyful, they may be the most eye-opening of all. To speak of possessions, hopes, and fears is to strip away illusion. Such openness tests the strength of love. If the bond cannot endure honesty, can it endure hardship? If it falters in discussion, how will it stand against the storms of life? Better to face the truth before the journey begins than to walk blindly toward ruin.

This is why she calls it important, though difficult. A relationship rooted in honesty is not weakened by such discussions but strengthened. Just as a warrior checks his armor before battle, so must lovers examine their bond before life’s trials. To pretend that love alone will solve all things is folly; to unite love with truth is wisdom. For love without clarity is fragile, but love with understanding is unbreakable.

The lesson for us is this: do not fear hard conversations with those you love. Speak of what you expect, of what you fear, of what you bring with you into the union. Do not clothe silence in the disguise of peace, for silence hides dangers that honesty can heal. The sadness lies not in preparing wisely, but in refusing to speak, leaving disappointment to erupt later like a hidden fire.

Practical action follows: if you are entering a partnership, whether in marriage, friendship, or work, take the time to speak openly of your hopes and limits. Ask not only what you wish to receive, but what you are willing to give. And when such discussions reveal uncomfortable truths, receive them with gratitude, for they are not signs of weakness but of courage. In this way, bonds will be formed not only by affection, but by trust tested and proven.

Thus Laura Wasser’s counsel becomes timeless teaching: that to speak openly of expectations is not to invite ruin, but to prepare for endurance. A prenup, like any agreement, can be a symbol not of mistrust but of clarity, a recognition of the realities that underlie all unions. Let us then approach our bonds with both love and wisdom, so that they may not be castles built on sand, but fortresses built on stone. For only in such unions can joy flourish and endure, even when the trials of life arrive.