If women will not accept marriage with subjection, nor men

In the resolute and prophetic words of Susan B. Anthony, the mother of American suffrage, we hear both defiance and destiny: “If women will not accept marriage with subjection, nor men proffer it without, there is, there can be, no alternative. The women who will not be ruled must live without marriage. And during this transition period... single women make comfortable and attractive homes for themselves.” Here, Anthony does not merely speak of marriage—she speaks of the transformation of civilization itself. For in these lines, she declares that equality between the sexes cannot be born until the ancient order of domination has fallen. Her words are a call to courage, to independence, and to faith in a future yet unseen.

To understand the meaning of this quote, one must first see the world in which Anthony lived. The nineteenth century was an age that sanctified marriage, yet confined women within it. To be a wife was to surrender one’s legal identity, to yield property, wages, and even freedom to the husband’s authority. Anthony, fearless and unwed, refused to accept that sacred love must be founded upon subjection. Her vision was radical: that marriage, to be holy, must also be equal. And if society could not yet imagine such equality, then women must learn to live beyond its boundaries—to dwell alone rather than kneel beneath the yoke.

The origin of this insight lies not in rebellion against love, but in reverence for it. Anthony saw that true love, like true justice, cannot exist where there is fear. A union built upon domination is not companionship but captivity. Thus, she foresaw a transition period, a time of struggle when women who refused submission would walk solitary paths, misunderstood and maligned. Yet she did not pity these women; she honored them. In her vision, the single woman who “makes a comfortable and attractive home for herself” is not lonely but liberated—she is a herald of the future, living proof that a woman’s worth is not dependent on the ring upon her finger, but upon the strength of her spirit.

History bore witness to her words. In the decades after Anthony spoke, thousands of women chose independence over oppression. Teachers, writers, reformers, and nurses—like Florence Nightingale and Jane Addams—created new forms of life for women outside the confines of marriage. They proved that fulfillment could be found in purpose, not possession. The “comfortable and attractive homes” Anthony described were not merely dwellings—they were sanctuaries of freedom, lit by intellect and devotion to humanity. These homes became the cradle of the modern woman’s identity, the place where she could build herself without apology or permission.

And yet, Anthony’s wisdom extends beyond her century. Her words still speak to a world that wrestles with balance between love and liberty. Even now, many are taught that to be whole, one must be coupled—that solitude is deficiency, and marriage the measure of success. But Anthony’s voice, echoing through time, reminds us that the truest companionship is one that does not diminish the self but celebrates it. Marriage without subjection is not only possible—it is the highest form of partnership, for it is founded not on power, but on respect. Until such balance is achieved, her challenge remains: those who will not be ruled must walk alone, and in doing so, light the way for those who follow.

Her words also carry an unspoken compassion for the men of her time. For she knew that patriarchy imprisoned both genders—women by obedience, men by expectation. To demand domination of another is to deny one’s own humanity. By urging men to “proffer marriage without subjection,” she was not seeking to destroy the bond between man and woman, but to elevate it. She called upon men to find strength not in control, but in companionship; to see women not as subjects, but as equals in spirit and in purpose. Only when both sexes renounce the illusion of superiority can love become the sacred union it was meant to be.

The lesson that flows from Anthony’s words is timeless: dignity cannot be negotiated. Those who seek equality must be willing to stand alone rather than kneel in comfort. Whether in marriage, work, or society, no union founded upon inequality can endure, for oppression poisons even affection. To the women of every age, Anthony’s message is a benediction—build your own home of freedom, be it literal or spiritual, and let it stand as testimony to what self-respect can create. And to the men who walk beside them, her words remain an invitation—to love not as masters, but as equals, and in doing so, to discover the joy that only freedom can bring.

Therefore, let Susan B. Anthony’s wisdom be carried forward as a flame: that no one, man or woman, should ever sacrifice the self for the illusion of peace. The path to equality may be long, the “transition period” filled with solitude and struggle, but beyond it lies a new world—a world where marriage, friendship, and society itself are bound not by hierarchy, but by harmony. For in the end, the women who refused to be ruled did not destroy marriage; they redeemed it. And their courage became the foundation upon which the temple of modern love still stands.